Wednesday, August 13, 2008
I give up!
love you too blogger. i do i do i do.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
the Mehta Case (and the bloggers ... and Female Foeticide)
I don't know how else to title this post. I am not writing this post to write an opinion on the decisions that Mehtas have had to make regarding the abortion of their fetus/child because I have no such authority. Also, it is their private life, decisions, and my opinion should not matter. I am completely removed from the situation that Mehtas are going through like everyone else, who is discussing and debating the questions that Mehtas have helped raise, is. Over the past two days, since the Indian High Court ruled that Mrs. Niketa Mehta cannot legally have an abortion of her 25 week old fetus (which has the possibility of a congenital heart disease), the blogworld has been lit up with posts regarding the case. Not many actually wanted to write but were requested by their readers to write like Nita and Mad Momma. Others who I've read are Shefaly, Lekhni, Prerna and Maami. There are a few others who I read as well but didn't remember to note their websites down which I am sorry about. I am certainly not against objective debate and discussion but while reading the aforementioned blogs and those I don't remember, there was something that troubled me. It was perhaps the fact that there were some parts of the writing that were written with a personal and a biased point of view. I understand that it happens when writing about an issue that is so ethically relevant as the one in discussion. However, I felt that the people involved, the Mehtas, deserve reasonable respect and sensitivity from the writers to not let emotions guide their judgments in their writing.
The decisions that Mehtas are having to make are not like helping our audience/readers decide whether piano classes are good for a three year old or not. Normally, when we write posts on these blogs, our words are not of much consequence but in this case, they are. Imagine yourself in one of the Mehtas shoes and reading some of the flak that's being posted. What would you go through in addition to the pain that you are already carrying? Can we, as writers and commentators, not be sensitive about that? We might not agree with the choices that Mehtas made or make but it gives us no right to discuss their decisions and dessicate them by weighing them in our own ethical scale. I applaud Mehtas for the course of action that they have taken so far as opposed to having gone to some hack in a back alley somewhere to get an abortion in a medically unsupervised condition. Also, I applaud them for having the courage to go on with the case despite them being in full public view. I am thankful to them for giving the country a reason to debate the laws in question and people like you and me fodder to write about.
None of us who hasn't gone through a situation that they are currently in or might not ever be going through it can truly make a call here. Today, I cooked one of my husband's favorite dishes for him and while cooking, I said to him, "I'd never eat this even if I am marooned on an island"."Really?" he asked and I shrugged my shoulders while making a disgusted face, "of course not! I'll never eat it!" But that's not the truth, is it? It's easy for me to say that I wouldn't because I know that chances of me being marooned on an island anytime soon are rare to zilch. It's only when a situation is 'hypothetical' that having an opinion on it with all the possible logic and rationale is easy. When the same situation becomes a reality, none of us would be blogging about it. We would be going about it in our own way as it suits us the best hoping that no one else judges our decisions and let us be on our own. That's what Mehtas need from us today.
They are going through a very rough time today that god forbid any parent has to go through. Writing about them and discussing whether their decision was right or wrong is insulting their grief and should not be done. Talking about the debate regarding abortion and the laws in an objective manner without involving any emotional hullabaloo is commendable because these are issues that need to be talked about but if you can't keep the emotional package out of it, please don't write about it. Be considerate that there could be others who might have gone through the same dilemna as the Mehtas but privately; they could be feeling miserable reading everything that you are writing.
About the laws governing abortion, pro-life views, pro-choice views, I've written plenty on Unchaahi's blog here. I've discussed freedom of choice enough times on Unchaahi's blog to be rewriting everything all over again. I've also spoken of partial birth abortions here. Now that I've provided the links, I must summarize here that the practice of Female Foeticide must NOT be confused with cases like Mehtas case. I've seen on many blogs that I've read that the two issues are being confused. They should not be. They are two unique scenarios. Female Foeticide, as I discussed here, should not form the basis of any debate surrounding laws designed for abortions. Female Foeticide is merely a SYMPTOM of discrimination against women. Before female foeticide, it was female infanticide. Now, there are pre-gender selection kits. Tomorrow, we'll have even more finer technology and Female Foeticide would be a thing of the past. Females won't even be conceived. The issue of Female Foeticide must NOT, I repeat ... NOT, be confused with the debate between pro-lifers and pro-choicers. Having said that, issues like Female Foeticide must only form the basis of bigger issues like seeking rights for women to be able to decide for themselves, to live their lives as they want, to be respected for they are and not marred because of their gender.
As someone who denounces Female Foeticide, I cannot be labeled as someone who is against abortions. Neither can I be labeled as being FOR them. There is no causation effect there. All I can be accused of is that I value a woman's right to her life, her body, and her decisions regarding both. I openly say that if a woman chooses to not have a daughter and if I was in power to nullify her choice, I would not use my power. I will try to rationalize with her, ask her for the reasons behind her decisions and try to make her see the available options, but, finally, it would be her choice. It has to be. If I didn't give her the choice, I would be untrue to my stance of denouncing discrimination against women. You see how that works? Raising a voice against Female Foeticide means raising a voice for women to have a voice in the society, be treated as equals and not be discriminated against starting from the womb itself. Women in India where Female Foeticide is occurring are not in charge of their lives yet and that is what I am trying to address with Unchaahi. Society is still influencing most of their decisions which it should not. Women should have enough respect in the society that their birth is not condemned! We have the case of Dr. Mitu Khurana, who I am in touch with on emails, who fought against her in-laws to not abort her gorgeous little girls and she's struggling in courts today against authorities who tell her that her rightful place as a woman is to be with her in-laws.
Actually, in comparison to the abortion debate, Female Foeticide is too simplistic an issue. Female Foeticide can be definied as a by-product of a societal system gone kaput on the whole. However, the decision whether to abort or not is (and should be) a private and a personal one only and cannot be wrapped in a universal definition. It cannot be differentiated into black and white. Grey areas are aplenty when judging a parent's split between losing her child and keeping her child. No outsider should dare judge.
If a parent feels that she doesn't want her child, which technically is still a part of her body that she has every right on, it is her choice irrespective of the reason. Yes, designer babies is a risk that we'll have to take on as a society but how many parents do you know who would abort their children if the fetus doesn't have enough big enough eyes? Even if a parent chooses to only have a designer baby, we need to learn to respect her choice and 'try' not to judge her despite her reasoning that might seem flawed to us. Judging her although would be an immediate reaction and I will be guilty of the same as well. However, we need to teach ourselves to let people think for themselves, make their decisions, while we learn to respect them, irrespective of gender, religion or any such bias, for their decisions. The more we develop respect for all human beings in our society and their decisions, the less we will be faced with problems like Female Foeticide or even Terrorism for that matter for they are only by-products of an unevenly biased society. We have to learn to live and let live as the cliche goes.
Ban me already! Please!
The Delhi Sikh Gurudwara Management Committee (DSGMC) on Monday formed a three-member committee to screen Akshay Kumar starrer Singh is Kinng to see if there Sikhs have been portrayed negatively in the film.
We have formed a three-member committee of experts that will see the movie and based on their feedback further action will be taken, DSGMC president Paramjit Singh Sarna said. The film is slated for release next Friday.
The DSGMC had sought a ban on the movie last Friday for allegedly "ridiculing" the Sikh community and wrote a letter to Delhi Chief Minister Sheila Dikshit asking her to ban the film in the national capital, despite the announcement by the Shiromani Gurudwara Prabandhak Committee (SGPC), the apex religious body of the Sikhs, that it was up to the audiences to decide if they wanted to watch the film.
The DSGMC committee has two granthis (priests) Harnam Singh and Surinder Singh and Khalsa college professor Harmeet Singh, an expert on Sikh history.
Wait a minute, I need to take a breath! I really can't stop laughing. These 'experts' really know how to get free movie passes eh? They will critically examine a Bollywood masala film? That has to be one of the biggest laughs of the day. Why day? It must be one of the biggest laughs of this month for me! The poor sods of filmmakers went to great lengths to name the movie to please the group that these 'experts' belong to and yet they are displeased. They really just need a reason to create trouble and cry for attention, don't they? Religion, I tell ya.
When I shared this story with a friend, she mentioned one of PG Wodehouse's stories in which a book gains popularity only after being banned by the Bishop. "Getting banned is a marketeer's dream", she suggested and then we decided on making our blogs provocative and controversial enough that we'd get banned. A ridiculous conversation followed wherein we decided that we wanted to be banned by Buddhist monks. We must really be good at this getting banned thing if we manage to piss them off. What do you say? Who would you like to be banned by??????
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Fat-o-mania
What I am writing about today is somewhat old news but crucially relevant to the present day. Towards the end of last year (2007), Disneyland announced that they would be 'upsizing' some of their rides to accommodate their present-day customers. Well, they didn't say that in so many words. It was only assumed. Disneyland maintained that they needed to upgrade the rides that had been untouched since their establishment in 1964. However, everyone knew what the truth really was.The rides that were designed for 175 pound male riders and 135 pound female riders in 1964 could no longer withstand the weight of the present day average customer. One of the rides being refurbished is the famous 'It's a small world'. According to Miceage, Americans riding in those pastel boats (of It's a small world) almost 45 years ago were much slimmer than those boarding the same boats now. While the CM's operating the ride try their very best to eyeball the girth and size of the riders coming down the line and purposely leave a row or two empty on many boats nowadays to hopefully keep them floating, even those discreet tactics don't always work with today's riders.
As obvious, intense debates followed in the online world as a result of Disney's decision of closing the park for nearly a year till 2008 Christmas season for renovations. The debates involved a group of fat people demanding their rights, a group of not fat people wondering why fat people can't become not fat, and a group of people like me who enjoy a good (sometimes aggressively demeaning ;p) debate.
Stance of Big Fat people of BigFatblog.com was:
Overall the truth of the matter is that this is good news. Disneyland is actually taking a step - albeit a baby step - towards making their rides equally accessible and accommodating. And yet, that very action is so threatening to so many anonymous commenters on the internet that they're willing to go so far as to... post... comments about it. But man, why are they so incredibly angry?
The not-fat people revolted in the voice of Kevin Pease:
The obese community wants us all to believe that if someone is obese, we should treat it as a disability. Take blind people. They are given special accommodations whenever possible in order to make their lives easier. Obese men and women want to be treated the same way. This claim is ludicrous, especially when you consider that obesity is a fixable condition. It may not be easy, but if a blind man were told he would no longer be blind if he ate his fruits and vegetables while exercising four times a week, he would do it.
Rest of us watched with abated breath.
The reason I bring this up months later is because I witnessed a heftily overweight family with two kids most likely under 6 years of age walking into a fast food joint today. I, curious as I am, inadvertently followed. All of them ordered the biggest meals they could for their size. Extra-large of fries, drinks, and the biggest burgers available. For the kids as well. To be honest, I felt disgusted. Why wouldn't these people take care of themselves, I thought to myself, and left the fast food place in disappointed anger. How should it matter to me? After all, health care is not a tax payer's burden in US as it is in Canada and UK. But it does matter to me. It matters to me when I see little children develop bad eating habits because of their parents and get ridiculed in schools for being overweight. It bothers me when I see people hurting themselves by overeating and just being lazy to take care of themselves. Yes, there definitely are cases where obesity is a medical condition (example: genetic) that cannot be controlled. In those cases, yes, it's understandable that a fat person should not be held accountable but for the rest of the cases where reason of obesity is merely bad eating habits and lack of exercise, why should the fat people not be held accountable?
As Kevin states in his piece albeit in a very aggressive tone, fat people protest against any voice that's risen against their obese status by comparing it to a racist stance. However, being fat, which is a fixable health problem, is not similar to having been enslaved in the most brutal form with a lack of choice. Obesity is NOT an identity like being black is. Obesity is merely a health condition that people need to start feeling accountable for and start taking care of it through good diet and exercising as opposed to meeting over lunch at a fast food place to protest against the local government for not having buses with doors wide enough to fit your big size in.
Also, I must add that not all fat people are whiners as is the case with any stereotype. There are plenty who know they are fat, accept that they are fat, accept that there will be jokes made because of their 'fatness', choose not to do any more hard work than they do to decrease their weight, and are okay with the stereotypes that follow them because of their size. More power to them! Really! There is nothing wrong with being overweight if you are happy with it despite knowing that it's not healthy. However, if despite knowing that you are overweight because of your own laziness, you still want to accuse the world for your misery, it just doesn't seem fair. As a society, we are all expected to put in our best effort to move it forward. Society includes fat and the not-fat people. We all have to do our bits to productively contribute. How would you do that without good health? If you are trapped in a deteriorating health condition that can't be controlled, it's understandable but if you are creating the condition for yourself by not being able to curb your addiction for food or laziness to not work out, how can you expect others to understand? You will always hear nasty jokes. You will always have people telling you what you could do to lose weight. Some of the advice would even come from people who are fatter than you. Strange or not. But regardless, you will hear all of that. If that makes you angry, it's time you redesign your diet and hit the closest gym .... but if it doesn't make you angry and you laugh all the criticism off, more power to you! There couldn't be a more secure person than you.
Related reads:
1. Obesity: American nightmare in comparison to France's crisis
2. Obesity facts and figures in America
3. Obesity is rising in India as well as the life there becomes more fast paced ... I found Nita's take on India's rising obesity interesting as well. She writes how Plump is beautiful in India and how losing the plump to reduce to healthy weight raises questions that are mostly negative.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Power of Words
A few days ago, I was introduced to a website called Wordle by Sraikh of ASAAN fame. :) Wordle creates a word cloud (similar to the wordpress-generated category-cloud that I have to the right of this text on this page) from the text we provide. You can also submit your blog address and Wordle would pick the words most used in the blog to form a word cloud. I tried to experiment with it using a blog I had a few years ago and my present blog. The blog that I used to write a few years ago was during a very bleak phase of my life. Sadness and unhappiness were my prominent emotions at the time. Therefore, it was not a surprize at all when my old blog's word cloud exposed the same theme. The blog was dominated by a lot of negative words whereas the current blog is more neutral. Goes to show how powerful words really are in expressing our inner state without us even realizing it. Psychologists say that expressing feelings and crying out the tears help us heal emotionally. We feel lighter by getting rid of any emotional stress and burden that we carry as spoken words or as tears. Same must be true for writing as well. More we write ... truthfully ... from our heart ... let the words flow as they come to fingers ... the better we feel mentally, emotionally et spiritually (ooh Pati just cringed reading the word 'spiritually' hehe). Before I further bore you by dragging this post on to another one of my philosophically insightful discovery paths, I'll share the two word clouds I spoke about and let you see the difference for yourself.
The Old Blog Cluster:
vs.
The New Blog Cluster:As obvious, the Old Blog cluster is dominated with words like:
- dark
- cold
- foul
- sobbed
- sadness
- emotions
- honor
- divided
- bitter
- cynical
- lost
- and so on.
I honestly didn't realize that I was writing all these negative words. I was merely writing as I felt. Now, when I look at this cluster, it doesn't surprize me but it does bring a smile to my face knowing that I've indeed grown out of it and am learning to find my own happiness. It's true that the Present Blog cluster doesn't ooze of predominantly happy emotions either but it surely presents a more balanced picture. That's exactly what we should strive for, isn't it? A balance. Something that we call 'whole' encompassing both the positives and negatives of life and blending them together in harmony. With that note, I end this post for today and encourage you to experiment with Wordle. It only takes words from the first few posts in account though as I discover now but, in any case, it surely is an interesting site if you like playing with words. :)
Widows of Vrindavan
Until today, the city of Vrindavan was only known to me as a place where Lord Krishna spent his childhood days as per the scriptures that I've heard of. It is about 15 Km away from Mathura, the birthplace of Lord Krishna. Both Vrindavan and Mathura are located in Uttar Pradesh, a state in the north region of India. Today, I came across a reality about both of these cities that left me shook for a while.
I saw the advertisement for the film White Rainbow while randomly surfing the Netflix website last week. Since I'd heard only positive things about the leading lady Sonali Kulkarni's acting prowess, I decided to order the film, not for the film's merit or lack thereof but for Kulkarni's acting. I received it this morning and popped it in the DVD player at lunch time. Unaware of what to expect, I sat back with a drink in one hand and a book in the other. The next two hours showed me a reality that I wasn't prepared to ingest on a lazy afternoon.
From an artistic point of view, I didn't appreciate the film much. Editing was poor, storyline was loose, characters were superficially stereotyped, and the acting was average. However, what saves the film is the sincere effort on the part of the crew behind the camera and the cast on screen to present a real situation in as realistic a manner as possible. Some critics may say that the film was made for the audience outside of India and looked more like a documentary than like a fictional drama as it is marketed. I am inclined to agree with the critics but I cannot write off the effort that the team behind the film put to make a film on such a hard hitting topic that most of us ignore to even admit that it exists.
The film attempts to highlight the plight of more than 15,000 widows who are living in Vrindavan (and Mathura) after being ostracized by their own families and the society that they grew up in, married in, and raised their families in. They come to Vrindavan after being driven out of their own homes just because their husbands died. Yes, it still happens! I thought that widow segregation was a thing of the past but, apparently, it's still going on in a section of society especially in North Indian states like West Bengal. Women whose husbands die have to get their head shaved, dress in white, and lead lives as social outcastes regardless of their age or move to Vrindavan and live amongst many others like them in ashrams of Vrindavan until they die.

(WARNING: SPOILER AHEAD)
The film begins with Sonali Kulkarni's character sitting on the beach in her backyard (yes, she and her husband are that rich) and writing about her happiness about her pregnancy that she can't wait to share with her husband of four years. Soon after, when she has baked a cake for him and set champagne on the dining table and changed into a gorgeous sari, she hears the news of his death in an accident. Then onwards, her life slips down on a series of downward spirals. She loses her child, her friends, and has no support of her family or in-laws. She had lost her own parents when she was much younger. So, she goes through a major depressive stage with white sarees, cutting her hand with glass, boozing and overdosing on prescription pills et al (all cliches possible) but somehow survives it all. I really don't know how she pulls herself together because the movie doesn't say but she does pull herself together. After her overdosing scene, we see her on her way to Vrindavan where she had heard from her spiteful mother in law that all widows must go. At first, I thought she was going to join the widows in Vrindavan (since, as I mentioned, the movie didn't show that she had pulled herself together and successfully operated a huge company as we later discover in the movie). However, it turned out that she had read about the plight of Vrindavan's widows and haunted by her mother in law's remarks, she decided to go see Vrindavan for herself and see if she could help considering that she was also one of the women there: a widow. There she meets three women and strikes a friendship with them to help them fight for their rights, and White Rainbow is a collective story of these four women.
One woman was shunned by her grown up children when she lost her husband and now worked as a maidservant in Vrindavan. Second woman was widowed in her teens. Her husband of an arranged child marriage was an abusive man. After his death, she was repeated raped by his younger brothers until she chose to move to Vrindavan. Even in Vrindavan, the caretaker of the ashram she lived in raped her and used her for prostitution. Third woman worked as a domestic help in one of the temple priest's house. She had also lost her husband at a young age, and now in her twenties, she wanted to be a mother. She is impregnated by the priest who apparently also rapes her although it's not clearly shown in the film. However, she is forced to abort her child and loses her life in the process which apparently happens often in Vrindavan in reality.
(SPOILER ENDS HERE)
Through the stories of the other three female characters, the movie touches on the following topics:
1. Present day widow segregation
2. Miserable living conditions of widows in Vrindavan with food they have to beg for, no healthcare, no proper housing, and nothing to call their own
3. Rape and physical abuse of these women especially the younger ones by the caretakers of ashram
4. Child marriages that are still happening and the resultant child widows
5. Taboo of widow remarriage that holds strong to this day
I can write the sordid details of each of these topics but need I repeat the same information that the vast expanse of internet will open up for you with merely typing a few words in Google? For example, following are some interesting reads:
1. Shunned from society, widows flock to city to die
2. Present Day Child Marriages in Jaipur (a video)
3. Plight of child widows who lose their husbands even before they reach the legal marriageable age. In many parts of the country, child marriages are still common wherein girls as young as 5 are married to much older men. By the time they are 14 or 15 and ready to be sent to their in-laws house, their husbands are well into their old age and often die a few years after their young wives come to live with them. Many such girls, who are widowed at young age, have to go through the same customs as all widows by never remarrying, living a segregated life, simply because they lost a husband who they were arranged to marry when they couldn't even say their own name.
4. The latest national census counts widows living in locations across the Republic of India with numbers that reach millions. The largest number of widows currently living together in ashrams located in northern India are in Vrindavan. Conditions in some of the ashrams of Vrindavan go from terrible, where sexual use and trafficking of younger widows occurs, to better ashram houses set up by leading women activists, like Dr. Giri and the Guild of Service, that encourage greater dignity for widows through better health care, by gaining learning skills like sewing and weaving and literacy training.
5. Indian widows seek social acceptance
These are just a few of many resources widely written all over the internet. It's only a matter of interest to dig into them and introduce ourselves to a world that most of us won't even have known existed.
“Many Indians shrug off widow abuse. It’s been like this for centuries as the accepted way of life. The husband is called a god and the minute a woman loses her god, she becomes a zero,” Mohini Giri, a leading Indian activist for widows’ rights, was quoted as saying.
Giri, herself a widow, founded the New Delhi-based Guild of Service in 1972, a volunteer organisation that helps widows and organises classes to teach them various skills so that they can support themselves.
I, myself, am not sure about how I am going to take this thought any further. All I know is that I had to put these thoughts down to enable myself to feel lighter. I wish I had it in my reach to be able to do something to change the societal mindset but as we've often discussed on Unchaahi's blog, change is happening albeit at a slow rate. We need to remain optimistic. Still, movies like White Rainbow, although not great in creative content, do remind us of a truth that we conveniently forget warped up in our own defintions and distortions of reality. More movies as such should be made so that we can all be exposed to the harshness of conditions that a part of humanity braves in order to appreciate the perks that we enjoy.

Images courtesy: http://widowsofvrindavan.blogspot.com
ps: An interesting fact that came up in the film was that all of these widows strongly believe that they are now married to Lord Krishna. It's brainwashed into their psyche that after their husband dies, Lord Krishna is their husband and they have to be in Vrindavan to worship him. That's another pull that attracts them to Vrindavan.Monday, August 4, 2008
Are terrorists winning?
Over the weekend, we (Pati and me) met up with a couple of friends who were in India on the weekend of the Bangalore and Ahmedabad bomb blasts (July 25-26, 2008). Our conversation began at a sad note feeling sorry for all the lives lost and somehow ended at the wrath that the majority of India is feeling towards the perpetrators. There is no element of surprize in that at all. Same was the case in North America after 9/11. People wanted someone to blame and to take their anger and frustration out at. Many hate crimes directed at anyone who looked like a stereotypical Muslim (as projected by media) took place all over North America post 9/11. What did that do? That resulted in alienating some more people of the minority groups that already felt isolated which, in turn, most likely led to more frustration and perhaps triggered further attacks like 7/7 in UK.
By definition, the word 'terrorist' refers to someone who induces terror. Violence geared towards innocent people is merely a means to bring about that terror. The need to terrorize could vary from politically motivated reasons like greed for power to misinterpreted religious extremist ideas for a better after-life. List of reasons is unending but the consequence for all the reasons is the same: death, destruction and infliction of terror. As long as humanity has existed, history is proof that terror tactics have always been employed and as situation stands today, the pattern doesn't seem to be changing anytime soon. Group A feels victimized by Group B due to reasons that are debatable. An unbiased decision cannot be ascertained whether Group A is victimized by Group B or not. Either way, Group A feels that it must get even with Group B by using violence against innocent people because that's the only way it will get heard. Group B hears it and reacts with anger in turn which further agitates Group A and the cycle goes on. Something or someone has to break this cycle somewhere, don't you think?
Are we not giving in to terrorism by getting angry? Anger usually is a result of fear for our own safety or the safety of people and things that we care about. Terrorists want their victims to get angry. They want their victims to take that anger out on innocent people of the group terrorists belong to. That way, terrorists will have more reason to terrorize and they'll have support from the people of their indigenous group too. To better state what I am trying to say in the context of the recent bombings in India, I urged Pati to write something for this topic yesterday owing to his better knowledge of Indian political and social scene. He wrote what he felt in regards to the acts of terrorism in Bangalore and Ahmedabad and how he feels that Indian public and government should react. I copy/paste:
Before the majority cries that Muslims don't consider India as their country and are traitors, they should question themselves the question as to what it is to be a minority. I am not defending or condoning the recent most gruesome acts of Islamic terrorism in India but I am questioning as all of us should about the motivation behind these young men turning into ruthless butchers?
I haven't found an answer, and I haven't yet heard a good answer from anyone else either. But I think the answer lies in the attitude of 'ghettoism'. When I was in college in India, I was a part of what you would call the 'in crowd' and we always mocked anyone who was in a minority group. We mocked students from north east - called them chinkis -, we mocked people from Tamil Nadu - called them maddus -, and so on. We never cared about how they felt and they ghettoised themselves as a result. They stayed within their own groups and this alienated them more. However, after I moved out of India, I became the minority. For all the years of my post graduation, I was a minority. Although I wasn't mocked for the way I looked or spoke, I still felt the need to ghettoise myself with the group of people who looked like me and talked like me for just perhaps the need of belonging to a group. Despite by best efforts to curb the tendency to ghettoise, I hung out with Desis most of the time. I feel that it is this 'ghettoism' that all of us naturally fall into leads to the feeling of victimization and which, in turn,leads to groups organising themselves into a social guerrilla warfare as sort of revenge from the majority.
If we see what's happening in our society, some of the Indian muslims have organised themselves into guerrilla outfits and are waging a guerrilla warfare. In such a situation, no convention policing will help. Any more conventional policing activity will make them more hardened in their resolve. I understand that in response to the attacks that we witnessed a couple of weeks ago, bravado in majority will force them to say "Chudiya pahen ke gher pe baith jaayein kya?" (Should we wear bangles and sit at home?) But what answer do we expect for that question from the people we are gearing to fight against? More suicide attacks? And, thus, the vicious cycle will continue.
So what should Indian government do? I don't know. I can say what they should not do: they should not do any aggressive policing on Muslims to show the skeptic Muslim population that the government doesn't consider anyone whose name is Ahmed or Mohammed as a terrorist. Then what? Somehow make the majority of Muslims feel that India is as much as their country as it is of Hindus, Sikhs and Christians. How do we do that? First, perhaps by not electing BJP. However much it disguises it policies, it's still very communal and other steps follow. Further, as a majority, the onus is on Hindus to include the minority and make it feel welcome. Shop in their shops, make a Muslim friend, invite a Muslim family over for dinner because if the majority starts to move further away from the aggravated minority as a result of these terrorist attacks, more agitated and victimzed the minority will feel and we will be stuck in this logjam for a long time to come. How bad can that be? Just ask the Lankans.
Guerrilla warfare can sustain only when it has a native population supporting it. LTTE in Sri Lanka is the closest analogy. Lankans haven't been winning the guerrilla warfare just cause the host 'tamilian' community is supporting LTTE with blood and money. Lankans have been militarily extremely proactive in this warfare (a contradiction as the Lankans are majority Buddhists and Buddhism promotes peace) for last couple of decades but they haven't won. Would we want a similar situation in India? Certainly don't hope so.
Genius kids contd ...
In continuation to my post on Genius Kids & their parents a couple of days ago, I present to you a photo I clicked with my phone while grocery shopping with Pati on Sunday.
The bumper stickers read:
1. My child had perfect attendance at Barrington Place Elementary School
2. I have an Honor Roll student at Barrington Place Elementary School (umm there's TWO of them saying that)
Need I add more?
In response, a friend apparently saw a bumper sticker that read:My dog is more intelligent than your Honor Roll Elementary school kid.
Looks like I am not the only one who's peeved. There is a few of us. We should all combine and form a secret society to ... ahem, I'll let you guess the rest.
Genetically talented
My cute little sister (not so little actually ... she's 20 but she is cute ;p) surprized me with an email today. I was surprized because being a new generation kid that she is, she is not the kind to email. Texts and instant messaging are more her style. Instant gratification: her generation's motto. Surprized as I was to see her name in the From list, I was even more surprized to see 'sketchy' in the subject line. The email had an attachment! Heart skipped a beat. Did she really pull herself away from the silly TLC shows she watches endlessly on her off days? Did she actually attempt at something creative? Her? My sister? The '4.0 GPA but oh I hate reading any fiction nonsense' sister? The 'I can't believe you enjoy writing' sister? Excitedly, I clicked to open the email attachment and immediately uttered the words that had to be spoken out loud for their full effect: "Ah! talented genes." :p Am I gloating? Hey, it is my blog :p. Well, here is what she sent me:
I only view it with sisterly love. Critically, I shall never view it but you are welcome to. :)
Friday, August 1, 2008
Genius resides in thy child, I needn't know!!
During my recent trip to India, I met a few new parents. They are all my husband's friends from his university days. There also were relatives who've had children in the past couple of years. I hadn't experienced spending time with new parents before that considering I am the oldest kid in my family and most of my friends are still unmarried or got married at the same time as me. Had I known what I would go through, I might've thought twice before agreeing to visit husband's friends with him or even go to his relatives' places.
Before I go on to express my anguish, I must state that all parents I met were first-time parents. Perhaps they would be different the second time around. The general consensus of all of them this time though was that their own child was certainly one of the cleverest things to have existed. I understand that it is natural for a parent to feel that way about their child especially the first child but, really, I don't want to know! It doesn't really seem a big deal to me if a two year old can mumble a few unintelligible words. "Oh he can count up to three too. Isn't he great? Pappu, count 1, 2, 3. Aww good boy. Come here. Mama wants to kiss Pappu. Pappu makes Mama proud!" Umm Great, but I remember my sister singing nursery rhymes in clear comprehensible English when she was two and a couple months. "Look, Pappu just broke the television screen. Isn't he clever? How could he analyze that throwing a heavy object into the screen would break it? Aww good boy. Come here. Mama wants to kiss Pappu. Pappu makes Mama proud!"
Argh! Height of frustration! But I sat through it all, sat with a smile fixated on my face and awwing and oohing as much as I could. There are no mothers or fathers in the world who think that their child is less than anyone else in the world but some just take it a step further. The over-obsessed-with-their-child kinds constantly announce their child's achievements to any audience who they can get the attention of. Most of the mentioned achievements are just a part of normal growing up for a child. The audience, however, is forced to listen out of courtesy. Add in the mix of gloating grandparents to the set of over enthused parents too. You have a perfect recipe for getting a splitting headache from too much smiling, awwing and oohing.
Why can't these parents just keep their affection within their household walls and not try to make it public knowledge? Discuss with each other, call up the kids' grandparents and feel happy together, vent it out in a journal entry, or better yet, start a blog! I suggested that to one of the ladies in India who had nothing else but her Pappu to talk about. In reply, she said shyly, "Oh no no, I don't have anything to write about him." Err?!? I really doubt that you don't have anything to write considering that you do have plenty to talk about him. Is it by any chance that you wouldn't get the instant gratification that you get out of torturing people live?
Ugh. No offence to anyone who blogs about their children but I wouldn't personally read them. I would pick and choose the posts that relate to a more generic issue rather than reading about when their child threw up the first time. Actually, there are some fabulous blogs who use examples from their lives with their children to discuss issues that might be of some broader relevance to the readers. I appreciate that, but I'd so easily skip anything that has to do with a kid making a cute face and putting a lipstick on for the first time unless the writing is spectacular and I knew the parent very well personally.
In short, my request to all you parents who are madly in love with your children that you can't find enough words to describe their new antics and the new things that they teach you, please get yourself either a diary and a pen or a blog. Write about it. Reflect on those thoughts. Feel good about them. Please don't impose them on innocent, unsuspecting friends/strangers who really don't care to know about the first time your little one used the potty without any assistance no matter how cute it really was. It also doesn't matter to the rest of us if your kid accomplished potty training much before than an average kid does. We don't want to know child statistics and how your kid fits in the top slot in almost every category. We don't really care. Talk to their grandparents. They might be interested. Better yet, blog away!! :)
This post was inspired by Andrea Frazer's highly comical write up:
Your kid is brilliant, now shut up! (a must read)
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Argue the opinion, not the person
Yesterday, for the first time in my adult life, I didn't truly express my opinion just to avoid any negativity that it might bring with it. This morning, when I spoke to my friend Alankrita about it, I told her that I didn't want to say the truth because I didn't want to upset A, B, and Z. However, my inability to remain true to myself bothered me and the fact that fear of losing friends has finally gripped me seemed unreal. I've always been someone with strong opinions and with no inhibition of expressing them either. This has cost me many friendships too. Perhaps that's why I have begun to be more wary now. These thoughts carried on to lunch time that I shared with Pati. Towards the end of our conversation, we were discussing as to why most of us are unable to distinguish between opinions and the person? For example, I have no issues being friends with someone extremely religious as long as he/she doesn't impose his/her opinions on me. If I enjoy everything else about the person, how should it matter to me if our opinions on a certain issue are starkly opposite? So, why do friendships break if there comes a difference of opinion on a very trivial matter?
No two people can be the same. That's a given. Most of the characteristics could be similar in two people due to their similar religious, cultural, or linguistic background but there will always be some differences in their personalities. Also, our society cannot progress without constructive dialogue and argument. People need to engage in debate and discussion of ideas for the sake of evolution. Considering that, we have two parameters now:
1. No two people are the same
2. People need to argue with each other for the world to keep on existing
Therefore, the conclusion is that for the sake of progression of life form, people, who are not the same as each other, need to commit themselves to arguing with each other constructively. By constructively, I mean where they don't involve the person they are arguing with but just the opinions of that person. It's opinions that need to be questioned with intelligent logic, not the person who holds them or states them. In an argument, the opinion and the person are two distinct entities and, hence, they should be judged separately too.
Friendships break when arguments occur because we tend to clump the person and opinion together. We don't observe the situation objectively and render our decision of breaking off in haste. If someone whose company you enjoyed does not strongly believe in arranged marriage and spoke against yours as well, it is okay. Everything else about that person is still the same. It's just that when the difference in an opinion surfaced, the otherwise positive relationship seemed rocky. Both people involved in the relationship started judging each other from a newly discovered platform without paying heed to the previous reasons that might have brought the two together.
To sum up, as the title says, we must learn to argue the opinion and not the person. It would not only benefit our personal life but it is for the better of society too. After all, society does need constructive argument for its longevity, doesn't it?
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Moved to Wordpress
I welcome you to join me there ... or else I'd be replicating the posts on blogger anyway. Simply because I can never really leave blogger. It was the first platform where I started writing and where I learned that I could compose a sentence that someone else wouldn't struggle to understand. :)
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Ishmeet Singh passes away
Does he really not exist anymore? It has been more than an hour since I read the news and I still cannot believe it. News channels are reporting that Ishmeet died in Maldives by drowning in his hotel's swimming pool. He was in Maldives for work. There are reports of his death being under mysterious circumstances. Inquiries have begun. Only 19, I feel for his parents, his family, his sister and all his fans from all over the world who are deeply regretting the loss. I remember watching the videos of his arrival in Ludhiana when the show was going on. There used to be hordes of crowds welcoming him with dhols and garlands. He was a major celebrity in Punjab and a reason for Punjabis worldwide to be proud of. It's really strange that someone who was just like you and me one day was framed on a pedestal by people like you and me and now that same person who we wanted to idolize is gone. Just like that. I might not have been a big fan of his singing but my heart goes out to everyone hurt by his loss. It does feel like I've lost someone known to me. Someone I deeply cared about.
Also, I realize that I didn't pay my respects to the lives lost or express my condolences to the grieving families as a result of the bomb blasts in Bangalore, Ahmedabad, Istanbul and various places in Iraq over this past weekend. The reason I didn't write anything is that I don't know what to say anymore. I read the news, mumble some prayers, cross my hands and wonder why it's happening. I really cannot understand the workings of a mind which likes to hurt someone completely unrelated to the issue in concern just to prove a point that is left unproven anyway. Nothing changes except that some innocent lives are lost, some people are left disfigured and without the means to be able to work anymore, families are broken, hurt is caused, emotional loss, mental loss, physical loss ... that benefits no one!! Nothing else changes. Politics remain the same. People in politics remain the same. Why can't we just stop this bloodshed? Do we really need to degrade humanity to this level? It's saddening that some of us feel so. It's terrifying that humanity has a menacing side to it which is fueled by harsh vindictiveness. I feel sorry for the loss of everyone involved. I feel sorry for the state human race is in. I feel sorry for us.
God bless.
Apparently I am too nice ...
NO, I AM NOT! :( No, I am not something that I don't even know the meaning of.
Venting feels good. Thank you, blog. :)
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Borders are arbitrary ... me thinks
Before I write this post, a few things I'd like to mention:
1. I am a Punjabi myself and do not condemn my roots. I do take pride in my heritage but do not let it blind my outlook towards other races/cultures.
2. I am writing this post not to offend anyone. This is not a personal attack but merely my viewpoint based on some facts that can be researched for their authenticity if need be. I have tried my best to put together the facts that are available online considering that I am not in India.
3. I am writing this to answer a comment left by Sidhusaaheb ji on my previous post where I was speaking of misplaced sense of cultural pride using my own Punjabi culture and identity merely as an example. It is easier for me to question my own culture since I know it better than others and it is not considered offensive. For example, black people can say the N word but if anyone else says, it is racist. Similarly, I am comfortable discussing the culture I belong to and pointing out its flaws too if it's required.
I mean nothing personal, SS. Just presenting my point of view. :)
4. I do not believe that Punjabis are Better or Worse than any other race/culture just like White people are not Better or Worse than the Black populace. We are all equal. Reason being that we are all equally human. We are all equally prone to achievements (based on opportunities) and equally prone to failure. No one is better and, therefore, any pride of being 'better' than anyone due to some achievements of our 'race' is misplaced and should be discouraged. If it is wrong for Americans to be egotistical about their American roots, it is equally wrong for Greeks to be egotistical about their Greek origin.
5. Having said that, pride in one's heritage and roots is necessary for survival. If some of us cling on to our regionalistic pride, others opt for nationalist pride, and the rest consider themselves as global citizen with no alliance to any group and just have pride in being human. Whatever the case might be, the pride in oneself is important for our survival. We must like ourselves and be confident of who we are to live on. Cultural pride provides us with that self-love and confidence. Trouble is when this pride takes an ugly turn and makes us feel that we are superior than others and are not getting our due for being special. In fact, no one is superior or inferior. As I mentioned earlier, we are all equal! No generalizations can be made about a race based on a few unique incidents. And that is all I am trying to say.
Now on to SS's comment (which by the way I must thank you for, kind sir, because it provided me with an opportunity to write about this for I feel strongly about this subject considering that I grew up in a Punjabi setting too and am tired of hearing from people about how great we are).
I'll put SS's comment in Italics and answer it in regular font myself.
...
SS you asked:
Er...by the way, if Punjabis are not really the best and merely claim to be so, how is it that they turn out to be the best at whatever they do, be it as farmers or soldiers or businessmen and businesswomen or, as you mentioned, performing artistes, among others?
me: That's exactly what I'll endeavor to answer through this post. Bhul chuk muaff kar dena. I don't mean to be rude and mean no ill-feelings. I am merely considering this as a conversation.
SS: Now, about the question that you've raised...Why do I say that Punjabis are the best? Are they really the best? Let me take up some of the examples that I've quoted here. Punjabis are the best farmers in India, because on a piece of land that comprises a very small fraction of the total land surface of the country, they produce the maximum amount of foodgrain. Any expert on the subject that you may consult will concur that the enterprising spirit of Punjabis is the leading factor responsible for that. We literally feed more than half of the people of this country with the grain that we produce. Punjabi farmers have begun to grow other crops that are more export-oriented, as well, and have already gained a fair amount of success at that endeavour as well.
me: Yes, SS, I agree that Punjab is leading in the agricultural scene in India. There are various factors for it:
1. Punjab has had the luck of having the most fertile land in India. For example: Andhra has more than 60% land which is not fertile. Same goes for Tamil Nadu and Karnataka. Maharashtra is Deccan Plateau. Madhya Pradesh is forests and mountaneous. Bihar has mines. UP is again mountaneous and does not much agricultural terrain. Rajasthan is a desert. Punjab and West Bengal are basically two places in India where agriculture can/could be successful. West Bengal is ruled by communists .. so it's going to pits anyway. No offence to Bengalis and especially communist Bengalis. So by elimination process, that only leaves Punjab (I am including Haryana cuz it was a part of Punjab at one time) behind as the state with the most fertile land. ALSO, another factor is irrigation. 70% of irrigation in India is monsoon-dependent. Punjab is the only place NOT dependent on monsoons as it has perennial irrigation (thanks to the rivers of Punjab) and the canals linked to them. Punjab does not fall into 'dryland' as many other places in India do. I can provide you credible data if you require in the form of a presentation I acquired from Indian agricultural ministry through a friend who works with them. Add good weather for agricultural purposes to the list as well. Punjab has that too! Therefore, common sense can easily deduce why Punjab is agriculturally ahead. ANY race, if they were settled in Punjab, would have done well agriculturally IF they were hard workers like Punjabis are. No big deal.
2. Green revolution made Punjab. Green revolution was brought about by scientists from ALL OVER INDIA/world and not just Punjabi scientists. Green revolution is what shot Punjab ahead in terms of financial strength and caused the disparity that we see today materially. I don't say this without evidence. Wikipedia says:
The Green Revolution created wide regional and interstate disparities. The plan was implemented only in areas with assured supplies of water and the means to control it, large inputs of fertilizers, and adequate farm credit. These inputs were easily available in at least parts of the states of Punjab, Haryana, and western Uttar Pradesh; thus, yields increased most in these states. In other states, such as Andhra Pradesh and Tamil Nadu, in areas where these inputs were not assured, the results were limited or negligible, leading to considerable variation in crop yields within these states. The Green Revolution also increased income disparities: higher income growth and reduced incidence of poverty were found in the states where yields increased the most and lower income growth and little change in the incidence of poverty in other states.3. Having said that, I will not undermine the hard work that Punjabi farmers put in. We are indeed a hard working race just like Biharis are. We will leave our homes and lands in search of better opportunities, work hard, and do well with our lives. I agree on that. I've seen my grandparents and uncles work on our farms. I've seen my grandmother cook meals for 30+ people for breakfast, lunch and dinner. What was commendable was they didn't complain at all. They accepted it as their life gracefully. So, yes, the credit goes where it belongs. No Green Revolution would have been successful if Punjabis were lazy. I agree to that but the point I am making is that it was not just our hard work that got us where we are. It was partially our luck (fertile land), help of others (non-Punjabi scientists involved in Green Revolution), and Punjabis' hard work!! It was a combination of all three and not because Punjabis are the best farmers. Punjabis are hard workers but so are Biharis. It's ironic that it's Biharis now who are taking care of Punjabi fields. Punjabis including my family are all flying elsewhere. Yes, hard work is something Punjabis excel at but certainly are not the 'best' at it because, as I discussed already, when comparing cultures/races, there is no 'best' or 'worst'. There always is someone out there who has a trait comparable to yours.
Point being it was not just the Punjabis who were responsible for Green Revolution and the growth that it provided Punjab with.
4. Now that we have started talking about agriculture, agriculture in India is going downhill anwyay. Punjab's running out of ground water due to bad agricultural practices. I hope I don't need to go in details with that issue becuase you must be well-learned about it. Besides that downturn, Punjab missed out on other major revolutions in the country like the industrial revolution which states like Maharashtra took part in. Punjab now missed on software revolution as well which South India has jumped on to. I don't mean to degrade Punjab or Punjabis. Most definitely, they've succeeded in India and world-wide but I certainly won't sit here and state that they are the best this or that. Punjabis are just as good AND as bad as everyone else in the country and that is India.
SS: Secondly, if you would have a look at the list of gallantry awards won by the soldiers of the Indian defence forces since independence, you would realise that the number of such awards that Punjabis have won constitutes a much larger proportion of the total number of awards, than the proportion of Punjab's population to the total population of India.
Out of the 21 winners of the Param Vir Chakra (India's highest gallantry award) awarded thus far, five i.e. Lance Naik Karam Singh, Captain Gurbachan Singh Salaria, Subedar Joginder Singh, Flying Officer Nirmal Jit Singh Sekhon and Naib Subedar Bana Singh have been from Punjab. Out of the remaining 16, two i.e. Second Lieutenant Arun Khetarpal and Captain Vikram Batra were, as is obvious from their names, Punjabis, even if they were residents of other states.
The same kind of proportion of Punjabis can be found among winners of other gallantry awards as well.
Besides, our soldiers are often called upon to perform the most challenging of tasks that others may not have been up to. For instance, in the recent Kargil conflict, it was the Sikh Regiment that finally took Tiger Hill, which was, arguably, the toughest battle of all during the entire duration of the conflict. The Punjab Regiment also played a very significant role in the operations and made huge sacrifices.
Punjabi young women were not only among the earliest batches of pilots recruited by the Indian Air Force, but, Harita Kaur Deol, the first among them to be killed in the line of duty was also a Punjabi.
me: Before I say anything, I pay my respects to all the brave men and women mentioned above for serving their countrymen with such valor. They must be revered. My sincere respects and gratitude.
Now, about Punjabis winning the most awards, following could be a reason:
1. Punjabis, Rajputs and Marathas are labeled martial races. I can't comment about Rajputs and Marathas but in Punjabi families (including my extended family), we always have someone in the Army. Having a career in the army is a part of every Punjabi boy's dream when growing up. It's just how our culture is. We are a martial culture. A career in the army is looked at with respect in the society. Considering that, the proportion of soldiers from the 'martial races' is more in the Indian army than any other race. That could be a reason for Punjabis winning most medals. It's simple statistics really. If 6 out of 10 soldiers are Punjabi (just an example ... not a fact), and 2% get a medal, what is the probability of a Punjabi soldier winning one? Certainly more than the remaining four.
2. You talk of Kargil War and especially of Operation Vijay (Tiger Hill). You know who led the Sikh Regiment there? A BIHARI javaan of 22 year old who was instrumental in winning Tiger Hill. He threw himself in a foxhole with a grenade to wipe out the Pakistani soldiers. He sacrificed his life. He was a Bihari. I thought you would've known that post 1984, no regiment in the Indian army was regionalistic. Sikh-Regiment, Punjab Regiment et al is only to maintain British legacy but their members do not pertain to a certain culture or faith. All regiments now include people from all over the country. There is no thing like Sikh Regiment anymore which only has Sikh people in it. There is no Maratha regiment comprising only of Marathi people either. Indian army has jumbled them all up to maintain nationalism! rather than promoting regionalism! Much power to the army for doing that.
Just a couple added notes,
1a. here's a first hand account from a soldier of 18 Granadiers unit who were equally instrumental in winning the Kargil war as the Sikh Regiment: Read here.
2a. Major Padmapani Acharya from Andhra Pradesh is another story that needs to be shared. He was a Major and he had no need to be at the frontline but he went there for he was a soldier first and his job was to defend his country. You can read about him here. He was Telugu but a part of Rajputana Rifles.
3a. More on the heroes of Kargil War here. Heroes were from all over India not just Punjab. It looks like there are more people from Punjab because we are a martial race and being in the army is somehow in our culture. It doesn't make us better or worse soldiers than anyone else. Everyone who signs their life for their country is equally brave. No matter what religion, race, caste or culture! Much respects to everyone.
3. Again, that's not to say that Punjabis have not made huge sacrifices in the wars India has fought post 1947. They have. Many of our men have courageously defended our borders. Many women who were left behind lived on strongly and raised their kids alone just as well with much strength. There still are many Punjabi men serving in the army and their families are supporting them in every which way. They deserve all the respect and gratitude we can conjure but to say that Punjabis are the best soldiers is wrong! It discredits many other brave souls who gave up their lives just as bravely as Punjabis for their country and that country is India! Not Punjab, not Maharashtra, not Uttar Pradesh, not Andhra Pradesh but just India.
SS: The fact that we still do not get the respect that is due to us on those accounts from the Indian public, in general, is another matter altogether.
me: I'd rather not comment on this because:
1. I don't feel that there is any lack of respect. I feel that we do get what is due, but if you don't feel that, that is your personal opinion. What you expressed is an opinion and I shan't argue against that. I disagree with what you say and that's the furthest I'd go.
2. I also wonder why it's only from Punjabis and Tamilians (no offence to Tamilians) that I hear of these complaints of being treated unfairly by Indian public? Now, Marathis are sadly also joining the same league. Isn't India your country too? You yourself are Indian public too but, like I said, I'd rather not say any further.
SS: The business acumen of Punjabis and the success they've had at it, I suppose you are probably already aware of. Among other achievements, the company that is known to have been the first 'true-blue' multi-national of Indian origin i.e. Ranbaxy was founded by Punjabis and has only recently been bought over by a Japanese firm from the promoters for a whopping sum of Rs.10,000 crore! The major industrial groups owned by Punjabis that I recall off-hand are Bharti-Airtel (India's leading GSM mobile telephony service provider), Hero Group (India's largest motorcycle manufacturer), Escorts Group, Apollo Tyres. The fact that the man who gave the world free internet-based email (Hotmail) i.e. Sabeer Bhatia is also a Punjabi also warrants a mention here.
me: Again, I shan't put down the achievements of Punjabis but I shan't call Punjabis the best when it comes to business either. What about Gujaratis? What about companies like Reliance? A lot of Punjabis moved to Gujarat too for business opportunites when industrial revolution had taken place in India and Gujarat had actively taken a part in that revolution. Gujarat is a land of businessmen. If you call Punjabis good at business, I call Gujaratis equally good. If you can provide me examples of success of Punjabis in terms of business, I can sit here and list successes from rest of India too. Are Tatas Punjabi? I could sit here and discuss each success story that has happened in India recently but that would be petty. The point is that Punjabis are not the 'best' or the 'worst' businessmen. Neither are Gujaratis or any other race. You just cannot generalize a race.
SS: You are already aware of the popularity that Punjabi singers enjoy, even among those who do not comprehend even a single word of the Punjabi language. Punjabi rocker Rabbi Shergill has Amitabh Bachchan, Sir V. S. Naipaul and Shobha De amongst his fans.
I suppose you know better than me about the number of Punjabis amongst the current crop of Bollywood stars, besides those of yesteryear.
me: Like my grandmother says, "saara punjab nachaar ho jaana". hehe Jokes aside, yes, I agree that Punjabi music is doing well in the bollywood scene because of the dhol beats et al and the money we have to promote our music. See, it's a game of money. Punjabis have the most money in the country owing to Green revolution (discussed above) and then mass emigration to western countries where they worked hard again and raked up a lot of cash. In UK, where the new age Punjabi music industry is based out of, Punjabis are financially very affluent. All the main Punjabi groups that are influencing Bollywood right now are from UK. We were just discussing that a few days ago. Not to mention that Punjabi tunes are indeed catchy and with the culture of clubbing and late night parties being introduced in India, tunes that can be danced to take precedence over classical music. Again, many factors collectively work in favor of the Punjabi music scene. I myself enjoy Bhangra very much but I do enjoy Carnatic music too. If AB is a fan of Rabbi Shergill, I am sure he is also a fan of some reputed classical singer from some other state. Him being a fan of Rabbi doesn't mean anything. Punjabi music being popular is a perfect example of good business based on supply and demand. That's all. It's business. People want beats to dance to now and Punjabi music gives them that. Plus the UK breed of Punjabi musicians are doing fairly well for themselves because they had financial support of their parents' generation whilst most of the current generation in India was still struggling to get education for a job. It's an unfair comparison. Very unfair.
As for actors and directors in Bollywood, Punjabis are increasingly being matched if not replaced. A new breed of RGVs, Nagesh Kukunoors et al have already taken over. Name one exceptional new generation Punjabi director in Bollywood besides the Kapoors, Chopras and Johars who are ancient? Bengalis have been excellent at this cinematic culture. Examples are people like Hrishikesh Mukherji. Most of the fine actresses were from Bengal too. Out of the leading actors, do you think that the proportion of actors doing best is more for Punjabis? Really? Only one I can think of is Akshay Kumar. Rest of them either had parents in the industry or are still struggling along with many others from various parts of the country and not just Punjab. SRK is also self-made but he is not Punjabi either. He might be lying but he claims himself to be a citizen of the country that he calls India. ;)
SS: In the field of sports, besides in cricket, Punjabi men and women are currently among the world-beaters in sports like golf (Chiranjiv Milkha Singh, Jyoti Randhawa, Shiv Kapur, Arjun Atwal, Irina Brar, among others) and shooting (Manavjit Singh Sandhu, Abhinav Bindra, Avneet Kaur Sidhu, among others).
me: First things first, why do we have more athletes in the West than in India? Simple answer is financial prosperity and better diet produces better athletes. It's only common sense. Like with the music scene, people who have the financial security, don't have to worry about feeding their family and have enough resources to hone their skill will get into the athletic field. I remember my cousin in Punjab being quite good athletically but he was discouraged by his parents because it was better to study. Now he is a physician in US but he is an avid supporter of his kids realizing their 'athletic' dreams because he can afford for them to do it now. Similarly, compared to other states in India, Punjab - being the most financially fit due to reasons discussed above - had the most resources to hone its talent. Again, nothing to be proud of. Just how America should not be proud that it has better and more athletes than India. Of course, America will generate better and more athletes because it is more financially stable and has more resources than India! Similarly, Punjab being more financially well than other states could produce more athletes if your facts are correct. As far as my information go, another state that is Kerala which has a lot of emigrants out of its borders too has had a lot of excellent athletes too. I admit my ignorance. I will have to do more research to compare the numbers but I am quite sure that Kerala has been a great contributor in terms of sport personalities to our country that is India.
SS: The kind of difficulties that the pioneers among Punjabi expatriates have overcome, including racism, to have attained success at whatever they do in the countries that they have emigrated to, is probably better known to you than to me.
me: Yes, I agree but the difficulties that expatriates from other countries experienced are also known to me. For example, hundreds of thousands of Japanese Americans were sent to internship camps during the American-Japanese war (WWII) just because their ethnicity was Japanese. Punjabis are no special. Every different race who came here struggled in the beginning. Hispanics are still struggling. Blacks are still struggling. Indian including Punjabis are still struggling too. That struggle will go on. We, as a human race, are unable to accept anything that is different readily which is unfortunate. That is exactly what we are discussing here. It's the superiority complex and the overconfidence that leads people to be racist towards others who are not like them. They think they are the best and anyone other than them can never match up while that is untrue. For the umpteeth time in this post, we are all equal. We are all human.
SS: To quote from a song by Hans Raj Hans, "Loki duniya 'ch vasdey bathhere, PunjabiyaaN di shaan vakhri!"
me: Alright, I'll give you that if considered in literal terms. Its shaan could be vakhri as in different. Yes, of course, we are different but if we are different, it doesn't mean we are better than anyone in any respect. We are just different. It's good that we are different because without these differences, world would be a boring place to live in. Homogeneity is boring. :)
SS: I think the point here is that people from any other region are also welcome to create songs and movies celebrating their language, culture and achievements, and to enjoy these, as the Punjabis have been doing, and no one should stop them from doing so.
Every one should have the right to free speech and expression.
me: They do that already. Everyone does it. It's not just Punjabis doing it and that is my point. I would rather that no one self-gloats. Yes, have self pride but don't rub it in anyone's face. Don't look down upon others and not let your kids marry out of 'culture'. I've seen parents stopping to talk to their children if they marry out of 'culture'/'color'. It happens in every culture. Not just Punjabis. However, I can speak of Punjabi culture so strongly because I am a part of it. I couldn't speak the same about Bengalis because I know nothing about them or their culture. If I was a Bengali, I'd be sitting here deriding the negativities in Bengali culture.
Summary: I don't even need to summarize anything anymore, do I? heh My point is that we ain't better than anyone. Yes, Punjabis have had their fair share of achievements but so have others. Bengalis are known for their literary pursuits, Gujaratis for their business acumen, and the list goes on, but it's WRONG to generalize any race. All cultures have their equal fair share of brave men and women, excellent athletes, fantastic musicians, brilliant businessmen PROVIDED all of them have had equal opportunities. No one is genetically better than anyone else. I don't say it. Science proves it.
Enough said. :) Thank you for letting me express my views. I leave the platform for any rational discussion. Comments are always welcome. :) (just as long as we don't get personal)
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
A question for you
Of course, I have my answers but I would like to hear what you have to say before I let my fingers lash.
Monday, July 21, 2008
Saanu maan hai, Punjabi hon da
We are proud to be Punjabi
a sentiment commonly found in Punjabis all over the world. I once heard even the thoroughly Mumbaized starlet Kareena Kapoor proudly claim her adherence to her Punjabi roots. She is one of the youngest members of the Kapoor family who have been in Mumbai and a part of the Indian Film Industry (Bollywood) for five generations now. Originally from Punjab in Pakistan, their heritage can be listed as Punjabi as for the most of Bollywood industry of yesteryears. The point of me stating all that is that Kareena's family has been away from Punjab or its influence for generations and yet, she carries the same Punjabi pride as every other Punjabi from the land of Punjab itself. I myself am guilty of the same pride sometimes despite my most rational efforts of curbing it. I don't just have Punjabi pride to deal with but also the 'Jatt' pride.
I grew up in a Punjabi Jatt household considering that I was born in one. ;p Through my growing up years, the greatness of Jatt-hood was deeply imbibed into me by immediate family, relatives, and mostly, media. I grew up thinking that I would never marry anyone but a Jatt!! Simply because Jatts are the best! No logic, no reasoning required. Whatever I was told by the songs that I was listening to was good enough. However, I must say that I did have friends of various colors and cultures and religions but I wouldn't have considered marrying anyone of a different color or religion or 'caste' (Jatt is a caste). Once I grew out of my teens, I realized how foolish I was. I was abiding by the same biases that people have been struggling for centuries to rid of. That was the starting point of my stepping out of the 'Punjabi bubble' I was trapped in. Gradually, when I felt I completely shed any cultural identity that I might've been born into, I married a man not based on his religion or his caste that he was born into but based on the fact that we were our happiest around each other.
Despite my confidence of breaking free from the shackles which I feel were imposed on me by birth, I still struggle to suppress the pride I feel when listening to Punjabi music. And as most of you might know, Punjabi tunes can be more narcissistic than any other music I've ever heard. The songs blatantly state how Punjabis are the best in the world and no one else can match up to us. One of the examples could be Jazzy Bains's super duper hit song Soorma:
Need I translate? The key phrases should do. They are:
1. liquor in Hummers
2. bandooks (guns) on the shoulders of the bravest species on earth: the jatts
3. chorus: kehra jamm piya soorma, jehra jatt di charhat nu roke ... translated as ... there can be no one born who is brave enough to mess with a jatt ...
There is a talk of alcohol, violence, guns, and jatts being the best and finest beings to walk the earth ... that practically sums up the song that has been played at every party I've ever been to since it was released. I am not saying whether it is right or wrong because I have no authority to say it. I am merely expressing my views on a trend that I was once strongly influenced by and now I am struggling to keep away from. The question I ask is whether it is necessary for our survival as human beings to feel the pride in our culture to this extent? I understand maintaining certain cultural standards and propagating them to our future generations to maintain a variety in the world of cultures. Without diversity and variety, life would indeed be boring. But should we as rational beings not put a stop to our narcissism when the pride that is meant to only bring about positive results ends up making us feel that we are the best in the world? No religion is bad until it preaches that every other religion that exists is wrong. No culture is bad until it claims for itself to be supreme over everyone else.
To give another example of cultural narcissism, the upcoming Bollywood film Singh is Kinng caters to the narcissistic streak of the ethnic group of people (Punjabis) who happen to be economically doing very well in comparison to rest of the country. I can guarantee you that Singh is Kinng is a definite blockbuster. Its music has been released and is very popular already. The title song of the music album is again narcissistic in stating that Singhs (punjabis) are the Kings (cliche to be excused). Bollywood is realizing the economic strength of Punjabis - both in India and abroad - and is catering to this group increasingly. More and more films with Punjabi influence (example: Jab We Met, Namastey London) are coming out and most of them are raking in good cash. Is it because they are good films or is it that they are catering to the narcissism that Punjabis are raised with?
People who make money out of religion take advantage of people who are so deeply immersed in their religious beliefs that rest of the world doesn't exist for them. Similarly, entertainment folks are making money out of people who are deeply immersed in the cultural narcissism that they want to hear about how they are the best over and over and over again. Why can't all of us break from this cycle? Why can't we see other human beings for who they are rather than what they were born into or as? Why should religion, culture, caste, language, skin color et al matter? When would our self-pride convert to self-confidence as it is meant to be?
Friday, July 18, 2008
women and gay men are the worst drivers!
I know that every man I know is going in his head, "What's new there? I knew that already!" And every woman's defensive streak is beginning to strengthen. I mean, I think I am an alright driver. Pati thinks I am a great driver but I'd settle for alright. ;) Therefore, my feministic ideals are begging me to protest the research but to be honest, I am as s**t scared of women drivers as I am of Chinese drivers. Now, that's saying something. Stereotype or not, Chinese drivers are THE worst people to be sitting behind the wheel. Comparing women to them is indeed the pits but I am left with no choice. Both of them scare me. I keep my car away from the cars being driven by either of those two groups especially the Chinese. Not so much in States but in Canada where there was a higher Chinese population towards the area where we lived, I could tell you from behind the car whether it was driven by a Chinese person. Honest! I don't know if the first generation Chinese children born out here are bad drivers too but their parents are indeed horrific. And women .... well, I'll just have to tell you the things I've seen in Houston. It is very rare to find a woman driving without being on a cell phone. There are times when I have seen them do their make-up while driving or while being stopped at a red light. I also saw a lady eating with one hand and on cell phone with the other. Another one was brushing her hair while making a turn on a busy intersection. Worst was a lady drinking her coffee and reading a paper while driving on a highway!!!! WTF lady! She almost did lose control of her car once though. That had made me curious to notice what she was doing behind the wheel. She was reading a paper for crying out loud! Some people are absolutely amazing. A walking talking potential killing machine for themselves and everyone else around them.Research has revealed that both perform poorly in tasks involving navigation and spatial awareness when compared to heterosexual men.
Psychologists at Queen Mary, University of London, who conducted the study, believe the findings mean driving in a strange environment would be more difficult for gay men and women than for straight male motorists.
Both tend to rely on local landmarks to get around, and are also slower to take in spatial information.
Ooh I feel better taking all that venom out of my system. Before I sign off today, I must also mention the scariest feeling I ever get on the road. It's when I don't see the driver of the car in front of me. Yep, there are instances when the driver is so short that you don't see their head from behind the car. It looks like the car is driving itself. Nope, not cool at all. Certainly not cool. Especially on a fast moving highway. I scared. :(
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Illegal (and legal) Immigrants
So, here is the deal. Illegal immigration can never stop. People, as our nature goes, will always go in search of greener pastures. For Mexicans who are without enough resources to feed their families, the land of big malls that they can see across the patrolled border is as alluring as Mecca is to anyone of Islamic faith. They would most definitely want to cross the border into the so-called land of opportunity in hopes of bettering their own lives and their families who are left behind. Once they do manage to cross the border (which is a rigorous process in itself that many fail at several times a year), they find themselves exploited in uninsured and heavily underpaid jobs. In addition, they always have to live in fear of being caught and deported back to their home country. Their employers are aware of that fear and, therefore, use that threat to continue to exploit them. Any day laborer can tell you a story about putting in a hard day's work, then being stiffed by an employer who knows that the immigrant's illegal status will prevent him from calling the police. These employers are not just your regular Papa and Mama stores but also big corporations. Here is an excellent article that goes in detail about how the big corporations are involved in hiring illegal immigrants since they work at lower wages and are monetarily beneficial to the companies.
Conservatives who - as is known - are best of friends with big corporations. Since corporations benefit from illegal immigrants, Conservatives do too. Conservatives, therefore, would like illegal immigration to continue (despite of what the core right-winged values are ... hey, a quick buck always wins). People from the other side of the border would always want to come to the US because even if they are exploited, they are still making more money than they would in their home country. Economy of the country where most of the immigration is from (Mexico) is not doing very well right now and is not expected to get much better anytime soon either. Illegal immigration is here to stay. Question is whether legal reforms surrounding it (like the ones Democrats are suggesting) should be urgently introduced or not?
A few facts:
1. Although deducing an accurate number for illegal immigrants in US is impossible for the obvious reason of them not being legal, they are estimated to be around 20 million or more.
2. Pew Hispanic Center has estimated that 57% of illegal immigrants come from Mexico; 24% from the rest of Latin America and 19% from elsewhere.
3. The fastest growing group of illegal immigrants to US comes from India. A recent report from the Department of Homeland Security shows that their numbers jumped 125% since 2000, up to 270,000 (though the Merc cites Pew Hispanic Center’s Jeffrey S. Passel putting the number closer to 400,000). By comparison the numbers from Mexico, the country from which most illegal immigrants originate, rose only 37%.
The reason I started looking into illegal immigration more closely here in the US is because of the BBC conducted undercover operation in Southall (UK) that revealed numerous illegal immigrants (mostly from Punjab, India) residing in cramped up quarters and working in horrendous conditions. You can watch the BBC videos here. It is absolutely heartbreaking to see the conditions that these people live and work in. There was a case where one of these men suffered an injury while working and he couldn't see a doctor because of lack of documentation. His injury only got worse with time. He had no choice but suffer it. Also, employers are taking full advantage of these people. Employers, who themselves are of Indian origin, are paying perhaps 2 pounds an hour to the illegal workers. In one of the videos listed in the link I provided above, the undercover BBC agent who lived and worked with the illegals just to get the footage for BBC says that he was paid only 150 pounds for six days that he worked 12 hours every day for. There was also a time where the employer refuses to pay him anything even though he worked all day. You have to see the videos to understand the extremity of the harsh conditions these people live in. Even then, they are happily doing it because they have no choice. They've paid a lot of money to agents/middle men and spent a lot of time to get there. Their goal is to suffer the discomfort and make money to make lives better for those who they left behind. Even 2 pounds an hour that might not seem a big deal to someone like us is a huge deal for them. 150 pounds is almost 13000 Rupees a week and about 6-7 lakh Rupees a year which is a good figure for sustenance in India. They possibly couldn't have earned that if they had stayed back in India. Lack of money wouldn't necessarily have given them any better living conditions than what they had in UK. My respects to them for at least working a way out to fend for their families.
Illegal immigration and migration is one of those issues that fall in an incredibly gray territory. Take for example:
1. Illegal immigration is good for the economy of the recipient country but it also somewhat negatively drains on the resources of the country as is claimed by crusaders against illegal influx.
2. Illegal migrants don't have a life of freedom or comfort in the country that they adopt and lose a lot emotionally, psychologically and monetarily in the process of getting there. However, even if they have to work hard, they can provide their families a better life than they could have had they stayed back in their home country.
What is right? What is wrong? I, myself, am a daughter of an immigrant. My father also left India in search of a better life for his family. Although he did it legally, he also had to give up a part of his identity to blend in with the new place. He decided that making those minimal sacrifices were necessary for him to allow his children to grow up in a place that he felt had more opportunities. I can't say whether his decision was right or wrong because I don't know much about India and the opportunities she has or does not have to offer. However, I can say that he is confident that his decision was correct. His confidence makes me believe the same too. His decision must be correct for us. Considering how truly 'Indian' he feels and is at heart, he wouldn't have left his home and the country he loves had he not felt it was absolutely necessary. No one leaves their home unless there is a need for them to. Legally or illegally. Those got here legally had the backing of money, education or luck (married into a family settled out here et al). What about those who don't have money, couldn't get an education and don't have any family settled out here? Of course, they have no choice but to come out illegally. How are they any different than those who are legally settled here? How are illegal immigrants different from the legal ones at an innate level? Both of them wanted out of the situation they were in back home because there was something better out here for them. However, those who didn't have the resources to make the move legally did it illegally.
Who is right? Who is wrong?
The questions remain.
Edited to add: As Pati often questions, "Are borders even real? Is there any need for them?"
Back in Business
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Roo's life: Past, Present, and Pati ;)

Friday, July 11, 2008
Goals, Weighty troubles and Hypocricy
Another update. I've started working out! Oh jes jes, I gained 4 pounds in the last one year that I am all set to lose now. I must write more about my weight struggles soon. I've been meaning to write about them for two weeks now since my pants that I had bought just last year March (2007) felt tight on me. As a result, I ran from room to room in frustration that was beyond means and measures. Husband sat tightly on the living room couch watching the spectacle. I was whining how I had gained weight and running around the house like a headless chicken. After a few minutes, I came out of the bedroom to sit with him and have him comfort me. I also brought along the pair of pants I had tried on. "I had just bought these last year," I whined to him. He took me in his arms and consoled the poor poor me. :( "These?" he asked taking the pants I had brought out in his hands. "Yes" I nodded vigorously. He looked at them and smiled to himself. "Why are you smiling?" I asked. "Do you remember how upset you were when Kareena Kapoor reduced herself to Size Zero for that movie Tashan?", he said. "Umm yes", I replied. I was indeed quite upset about her being a bad role model. I even blogged about that when I reviewed Tashan on this blog. He continued, "Well, these pants are Size Zero, my love. You are not fat. You should be happy that you are growing out of them." He finished with a hug.
I couldnt believe him. I had to see them for myself. Yesss, they were Size 0 for real!!! Oh my goodness, I wear Size 0 pants and I accuse Kareena Kapoor for slimming down too much. When I grew just a bit for Size 0 to be just a bit tight on me, I was ready to burn the house down. Omg, I am such a hippo-crite (pun intended if you want to read it like that ;p)!! Please refer to me as a hypocrite from now on. Please do. A reminder of my hypocricy might keep me in check. Laptop is almost dead. I take your leave now and head to the gym. Nope, not to lose weight but just to keep my heart fit. Hey, I gotta live long enough to write a series of classics. Agatha Christie, just you wait. I'm catching up!!!
:))
Thursday, July 3, 2008
May AT & T crash and burn!
I wouldn't have thought twice before switching over to another company but that'd be like jumping from one fire into another. All these b****y corporates work the same. What does my time or my feelings mean to them? :( I am a nobody. They don't care much for my business either. Why should they? I am just one little entity in a pool of billions. They'd rather not have me as a client than having to work hard to fix whatever little problem there is in breathing life into our net connectivity.
Either way, in the meantime, I have started working on something called a 'book'. Did I just hear you gasp? Oh wait, that was me. Did I just say 'book'? Well, yes! I've been talking about it for a long time but never got around to starting one such project. I have now since I don't have any worldly distractions (read internet) at home. Although I've only written a 1000 words but hey it's a start. I have also made arrangements with a dear friend to coerce me into writing everyday because husband always gets in trouble when he tries to coerce me. You see, I tell him to force me to write every day but when he tries to force, I get agitated with him and push him out of the room. :/ So, let's see if this friend who I have requested to be my guardian angel can be any better at this job. Perhaps she will be because I can't possibly push her out of my chat list. I love her too much to ever do that. :D Pray for me, darlings, and I shall keep you updated!!!!
... roop on a path of self discovery ... ;ppp
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Mind uncluttered
The last two months have been nothing short of a ride on a turbulent roller coaster threatening to fall off the rails any minute. We started moving out of England and into US at the end of April. I had thought that everything would be well and settled by the end of May. I had thought wrong. Quite obviously because it is almost the end of June and we still don't have internet connection at our home.
We did get internet at our old apartment but we had to move to a new one because the older one didn't have a working air conditioner. With Houston temperatures in high thirties (celsius), an AC is an absolute necessity. The maintenance folks, I must say, did try their ultimate best to fix the darned thing but even after a week's work, they couldn't fix it. They even replaced the old AC unit with a new one in its entirety but it still didn't work. I am convinced that the apartment is possessed. :D
It has to be!! I mean, come on ... a lot of bad luck in the past two months. A lot of unfortunate incidents that I won't bother to go into the details here. A plenty of material and emotional loss in these last two months. The apartment too kept breaking down on us bit by bit. Finally, when nothing worked to move us out, the AC died and would not recover from its death no matter how much a group of us tried to resuscitate it. Something must explain this series of events. :D It could be pure coincidence which husband claims for it to be but I shall stick to my theory of the apartment being possessed. I must! I have to! Can anything sound cooler than the story of having lived in a possessed apartment to a group of friends at a pub on some drunken night? ;)) I've got it all figured out too with all the spicy (read spooky) details. The tapping sound that I heard at 1 AM sharp every morning. The creaking of floorboards only when I was home alone at night. Etc Etc. I just can't wait for our next night out. ;)
Jokes apart, I still don't have internet access. I am currently at a friend's place after having accepted her kind gesture to allow me to use her computer. I feel like a complete waste of a human body these days though. Besides doing household chores, there is nothing much on my agenda since the actual 'work' that I do is all online. I just made two huge statements with the previous sentence that I wrote:
1. household chores are not actual 'work'
2. i cannot survive without internet
The first generalization reminds me of Nita's post when she writes of cooking being devalued these days. Do we really write-off our mothers' work in the kitchen? Do we not appreciate our grandmothers waking up early in the morning just so we could have a healthy breakfast? Why do we then devalue their chores by not calling them work? Why is it that I feel so incomplete when all I am doing is just the household chores? Is it nature or nurture? Am I conditioned to feel incomplete if I don't bring about any materialistic rewards or make a difference in the life of someone other than family? I love cooking for husband for I love to see the smile on his face when he's fed home cooked food and, yet, I don't give enough value to such little joys in life that are essential. He is happy eating the meals that I cook for him and I am happy seeing him happy. Why do I then devalue the merits of me doing 'just' the household chores? Doesn't both of our happiness have any value? When time is right, I will be working professionally too. However, in the meantime, when I have ample free time to myself, why can't I just be satisfied doing the chores at home? Perhaps because I find them boring. I find them boringly repetitive. Especially when you have to set up a house twice within a period of a month. I am tired of shopping, pulling, dragging, and putting things together. I am tired of forgetting to buy something when I am out shopping and going back to pick it up again. It is me who can't do the chores well enough to keep myself entertained and I call the chores boring. Shame on me. However convoluted the logic sounds, the conclusion for this paragraph that I have come up with and shall be adhered to is that I devalue the housework because I find it boring. It's not the housework's fault but my fault for not owning up to not wanting to do it for the fear of boredom. Not wanting to do the household chores results in me whining that I am incomplete without 'work' away from home. See, it's just that simple!!! I need to straighten up my act and tackle the work at home head-on and not try to find excuses to run away from it. It is work too!! and it is just as important as any other work in life. It should never be devalued and put on a backburner to burn at a slow pace. Ahhh! i feel better already.
Coming to the second point, I can't survive without internet. Actually, I can't really argue that. I really can't survive without internet. I would be very lost and very frustrated for not knowing my way around Houston if it wasn't for Google and iPhone.
Oops, I have to cut this short and leave. I just received a call from a woman's center I volunteer with for some urgent volunteer 'work' that they need help for. Well, I am at their service. Anything to pull me away from umm laundry. :)
Tut!! Shame on my laziness. Mommy won't be impressed. :D
Until next time!! I can't wait to get back to blogging regularly. I miss Y'ALL (gotta show my newly acquired Texan style once a while 'n I am sure Y'ALL appreciate it ;p).
ps: Thank you everyone for your comments. I keep reading them on my iPhone although I haven't had a chance to reply to them yet. Please pardon my tardiness. I would love to answer and reply to everyone but lack of connectivity to internet is really not a optimal situation for me to be able to keep in touch. I very sorry. I hopes you understands. I thanks. :)
Monday, June 9, 2008
Still in Canada
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Blogging, Gas prices and more ...
The reason I speak of this friend today is because I read my first ever blog today. I wanted to look into my head from three years ago out of plain curiosity. I wasn't at all surprized to read what I did. The pain, the frustration, the angst was clearly visible. However, reading it made me feel better. It brought me many steps closer to getting closure to a few issues that I am still struggling to let go of. I am glad to realize that I have moved ways away from the situations I was stuck in then. I talked about not being able to express myself because I wasn't allowed to (by parents). I talked about how my personal career choices held no meaning in the world that elders had painted for me. Today, I am the same person but I am free to choose for myself. I no longer feel the angst I felt back then and what I felt now was truly a moment of relief. Experience of such relief would've been unknown to me had I not penned my thoughts back in 2005. For making me write them, I thank the friend who always showed faith in me, instilled confidence in me, supported me silently and vocally, and was there for me when I needed someone the most. Thanks E if you read this. I only hope that I can live up to the tremendous faith and confidence that you've shown in me. Thanks! :)
Now that I've shared a fair bit of my personal dilemnas, I must also mention the dilemna that I and almost everyone around me is facing at the moment as well: Gas Prices. Parents are thinking of buying themselves a new car and, hence, put their thoughts in front of their 'kids'. As expected, a rigorous Rai-style aggressively argued 'green-discussion' ensued in our household. After some calculations, we figured that we spend nearly 3500 dollars a year per car just on gas if the current rates are acknowledged. These rates are only bound to go up. The bigger a car we get, the costs go up (which is an unnecessary expense). Not only that but we are also contributing to the environmental damage that we are all collectively causing. The end decision of the discussion was in favor of the green-tirade (me and sis) and rest of the group are also thinking of submitting their membership applications to our green group. ;)
Later on in the day after having enjoyed the victory with a glass of buttermilk, I came across a cartoon strip that got me laughing. You'll know what I mean when you have a look:
We are never happy, are we? ;)Until next time ...
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Domestic Abuse and its Victims
Both of them are well-earning professionals living an average upper-middle class life. No one outside of their relationship would know that there was something amiss in their marital alliance. She didn't share her woes with anyone until recently. This was after another session of being beat up. She told her best friend about the occurence who then advised her to get out of the relationship. She, typical of an abuse victim, was in denial and considered breaking her relationship with the friend who had advised her to leave her husband. Gradually, sense prevailed and she has officially taken the step to walk out. Thankfully, in her case, her husband is also willing to let her go as is quite uncommon in such cases.
Domestic abuse is a common occurence in a vast number of South Asian (Indian, Pakistani, Bangladeshi) families both in home countries and abroad. The reported number of cases, however, are minimal due to honor concerns in addition to the fear from the abuser. Therefore, there is not enough data to carve out an accurate statistical depiction of the abuse trends. However, from as little data as we have, the following observations can be made:
1. This NEJM report published in March 2007 suggested that 37.2 % of married women in India have experienced domestic violence.
2. Sakhi - an organization in US (New York metropolitan area) against domestic violence - records information about the abuse trends among the South Asian communites in the areas that they cater to. You can find the Sakhi statistics starting from year 2003 till 2007 here.
3. Another study, also conducted in March 2007, reported that every second child in India has suffered some form of abuse, according to the world’s largest-ever study on child abuse. Conducted by Prayaas, an NGO, with support from Unicef and the Department of Women and Child Development, the study, which interviewed 17,000 children and such stakeholders as teachers and NGOs, reports that over 50 per cent children interviewed reported some form of physical, sexual or economic abuse.
At least 25 per cent respondents had been sexually abused -- 30 per cent of them by family members or relatives, says the National Study on Child Abuse. Forty per cent of children interviewed said they were subjected to physical violence, and five per cent of these said they had resorted to substance abuse to cope with being battered regularly.
Domestic violence has always fascinated me since I have seen it happen first hand and could never understand the reasons and dynamics behind it. "You'll realize when you are grown up that it is for your own good,"I used to be told. Now that I have somewhat grown up, I look back at those incidents meant for my 'own good' only with tears in my eyes. I don't have any fond memories of them. I don't remember them making any value addition to my life. The only 'good' that they did me was that they burdened me with nightmares that I still have troubles getting rid of. I still am learning to manage my emotions in a reasonable manner even after having moved out of the negative environment I was subjected to years ago. My only afterthought of my experiences is that I never seeked help when I needed it the most. Perhaps I would've been emotionally less convoluted if I had shared myself with someone then. Therefore, now when I meet ladies at DAYA, an organization working for domestically abused South Asian people in Houston that I volunteer for, I can't help but applaud them for their strength to have come out of the cycle of abuse. It takes a lot of grit and determination to make the final exit.
As depicted in the following chart taken from the DAYA website, abuse always comes in cycles making it really tough for the victim to walk out:

Considering that, is it really a surprize that:
Fifty-four per cent Indian girls and women aged between 15 and 49 said that a husband or partner is justified in hitting or beating his wife under certain circumstances.
The findings of the survey show a marginal change in the attitude as a similar survey in 2000 showed that 56 per cent of Indian women justified wife bashing.
More information on the patterns and symptoms of domestic violence can be found here on the DAYA website. It's surprizing to know the number of times that victims themselves don't know that they are in an abusive relationship unless an outsider points the obvious to them. What seems normal to a victim of domestic abuse may not appear the same to the rest of us who have a rosy view of relationships. Therefore, utmost care is required to help the victim identify his/her misfortune and consistent support is then needed to help him/her out of the situation that he/she is in. I am glad that organizations like DAYA and Sakhi exist today to lend a helping hand to those who seek it.
Addendum: It is an assumption that only women and children are the recipients of domestic abuse. Although it is true that women being the physically weaker sex and children being also physically weaker are usually at the receiving end but there are cases where men are recipients as well. Data from DAYA (Houston) shows that there are a few number of South Asian men who call in for help too. They are being abused by either their wives, their children, their wives' family etc. Just thought that there was a need for me to add that on. :)
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
What accent is your English speech?
Strangely, I am the only one I know who picks up (and loses) accents as quickly as I do. This ability has often landed me in trouble as well a few times when people assume that I am mimicing them to make fun of them. Truth is that I can't help it. I acquire the accent that I most often hear. Google search threw up the phrase 'Wandering Accent Syndrome' at me. It is apparently a condition and I am not the only 'sufferer'. There are many many many more like me out there. :) Needless to say, this new piece of information was quite comforting. My curiosity further led me to explore internet for more accent-related readings. The search turned up that there is an actual medical condition called 'Foreign Accent Syndrome'. Foreign Accent Syndrome is not the same as the Wandering Accent Syndrome. Where WAS is only a phrase used for people who acquire accents just as easily as they lose them, FAS is a medical condition.
Wikipedia states about FAS:
To the untrained ear, those with the syndrome sound as though they speak their native languages with a foreign accent; for example, an American native speaker of English might sound as though they speak with a British accent. However, researchers at Oxford University have found that certain, specific parts of the brain were injured in some foreign-accent syndrome cases, indicating that certain parts of the brain control various linguistic functions, and damage could result in altered pitch or mispronounced syllables, causing the speech patterns to have a different sounding accent. The change in speech is not the result of sufferers' adopting or imitating any accent; this is merely the perception of people who hear the sufferer speak.
A well-known case of foreign accent syndrome occurred in Norway in 1941 after a young woman, Astrid L., suffered a head injury from shrapnel during an air-raid. After apparently recovering from the injury she was left with what sounded like a strong German accent and was shunned by her fellow Norwegians.
Another well known case is that of Judi Roberts, also known as Tiffany Noel, who was born and raised in Indiana, USA. In 1999, at the age of 57, she had a stroke. After recovering her voice, she spoke with an English accent, a mixture of cockney and West Country, despite never having been to Britain. Apart from a British accent, she has begun using British vocabulary, such as "bloody", and "loo". Professor Ryalls attributes this to vocal tract posture, as British English has tenser vowels.
Another case of foreign accent syndrome occurred to Linda Walker, a 60 year old woman from the Newcastle area. After a stroke, her normal Geordie accent was transformed and has been variously described as resembling a Jamaican, as well as a French Canadian, Italian and a Slovak accent. She was interviewed by BBC News 24 and appeared on the Richard and Judy show in the UK in July 2006 to speak of her ordeal.
Wow, it must be tough living with losing a part of your identity -your accent- completely. All this accent reading made me even more curious about what my accent really is now. Is it primarily Canadian or American or neither? British, I know for certain, it is not. I couldn't find a testing measure for me online but I did find one quiz which judges only the American accents. After answering a few questions, the result tells you the part of America that you might be from judging by how you enunciate some chosen words. If interested, you can take the quiz here:
What American accent do you have?
My results:
"North Central" is what professional linguists call the Minnesota accent. If you saw "Fargo" you probably didn't think the characters sounded very out of the ordinary. Outsiders probably mistake you for a CANADIAN a lot.
Fabulous! Even an impersonal online quiz judges me to be a Canadian. I have retained some part of my identity after all!!! :)
Have you? ;)
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
An ode to Grandpa
RIP, Grandpa. May Grandma have the strength to endure the loss.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Now in Canada
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Menstruating women are human too!
There is this crazy tradition in the south when a girl gets her period for the first time, matures into womanhood. Matures?? getting periods is maturing!!??? I thought maturity is a state of mind regardless of the age. Maybe something I missed here.
Getting back to the tradition, I'm not sure how many follow this, but in school quite a few of my friends had to undergo this crazy nonsense. there was major ritual, and a procession taken out on the streets, complete with band baja..like a wedding barat..and then a scrumptious meal for all the relatives. So basically what is a very private matter suddenly the whole town, your family and strangers included know. " Oh.. this girl can produce babies now!"
As if this humiliation wasn't enough for those 7 days every month, she has to endure worse. Treated like a leper, stealing in and out of the house only adds fuel to fire. The reason this was followed in the olden days was simply because, there was no such thing as sanitary pads, there was only cloth. And coupled with the pain, emotional heavels and not to mention the staining it made sense to be by your self. And plus you got the much needed rest from house work.
Following the same thing in the name of tradition and custom is sheer stupidity. We need to let go of certain customs like this as they do not make sense. This is the reason why women were kept secluded and not because its unpure and dirty.
Turns out that Imp's mom is not the only one with these views, thought room, the mad momma, Chandni and many others feel quite strongly about the issue as well. My first reaction to this new information was of course of shock. I spoke to husband about it who confirmed what I had just read. He told me that he has seen it being practiced in parts of India within the last two decades although he is in fierce disapproval of such archaic customs. This was on Friday night, May 16. I called my mum up thereafter. She didn't understand what I was talking about. I told her twice about what I had read and she still didn't understand what I meant. "Seclusion? What? Why? When?", she said and, eventually, I gave up. Grandma gave me similar responses after admonishing me for a minute to not talk about periods so openly next time. ;)
I've personally never ever gone through discrimination because I am menstruating. Neither have I seen anyone being discriminated against either. Both in Punjab and in Canada. I never knew that such a custom ever existed even in the old days even if it was for the comfort of ladies. I just wasn't aware. Now I am and it somehow upsets me to see that the ladies whose writings are evidence of their superlatively coherent thought process have to even write about an issue as such. They wouldn't waste their time writing about it if the issue didn't exist no matter how much disbelief it let me in. When I got my periods, it was just a part of growing up. No fuss was made over it then and no fuss is made over it now. There were a few times when my father was a tad insensitive and would tell me to 'suck it up and be a man!' (as if I wouldn't give anything to be a man during that time phase), but other than that, it has been quite a normal biological process. It has been as normal as my brother growing facial hair.
I had no intention of writing about this at all because whatever needs to be said has been written already by the ladies I've mentioned above. The outdated practices of women being outcast and segregated during 'those' days hold no meaning in today's world of tampons, pain relievers and stick-on heating pads. However, I was surprized to see a drastically opposing view from another blogger lady Lavs. She created quite a stir in the blogging community by admitting that she still adheres to these practices that the rest of us rendered archaic and gave her reasonings for it as well. Most of the commenters on her blog, despite their personal thoughts, expressed their support for her to practice as she desires as long as she doesn't impose it on anyone else. However, the only thought that kept recurring for me was that she might not impose such inane practices on any outsider but she surely will be imposing them on her children if not by force then by practicing it herself. Her children, if they have a brain even a tad more resistent to brainwashing than hers, would have to question her beliefs, go through the struggle that our generation is going through to explain these inane prejudices and will have to reinvent the wheel all over again. Cliche to be excused. Why put kids through such torture?!?!
I am digressing. My reason for writing this post is to analyze the points that Lavs makes FOR segregation of girls/women when they are menstruating and conclude by discussing the level of tolerance of her readers. Following are the five points from her write up that stood out for me the most:
1. "In our house, its custom for ladies to sit aside during those “3” days. If it conjures images of us being oppressed or made to feel ashamed, then you are mistaken. On those 3 days, me and mum were treated like queens. No need to do any sort of work and water and food are provided on demand."
Images of them ladies being oppressed surely do come to mind but not because they are made to 'sit aside' as Lavs puts it, but because they are not treated like queens all month. Only for 3 days? Man, that's bad. I never have any 'need' to do any sort of work ever. Water and food can be provided on demand any day I want. I choose to work for my water and food because I love and respect my husband. I love and respect him enough to not devalue his love for me by exploiting it because I know for a fact that he'll do anything for me if it makes me happy and it doesn't matter what day it is. It could be a Sunday, Monday or even a Menstruaday!
2. "Yes, we were not allowed to touch everything, we were not allowed to enter puja room/kitchen/temple. If mom got her periods, my aunt who stayed along with us did the cooking. Evening tiffins were a treat coz only on those days, mom allowed us to buy snacks from McRennet and from the nearby hotel. We loved those snacks so much that we would eagerly wait for my mom’s next month periods!!"
Uh oh. A strange way to express dislike for the food their mother cooked. She must really be a bad cook. I mean, they eagerly awaited the days when she would be ostracized from the kitchen. What other conclusion would you draw? I somehow can't wrap any other justification about this around my head to even talk about it. When I was living with my parents, I would be in despair every time Ma wasn't feeling well and couldn't cook. I definitely cannot imagine living in a house with Ma and not have food cooked by her for longer than a day max. I'd even offer to do all the chopping and clean up, but she had to cook!! Really strange that someone would wait for the time when their mother is banned from the kitchen in her own house. *eyes almost popping out of their sockets* What a sorry state of affairs when you have to resort to such silly excuses for nonsensical rituals.
3. "[Husband] cooks yummy dosas for me. He ensures I am comfortable at all times. He is the one who usually buys sanitary napkins for me. If we have visitors during my periods, hubby ensures that we do not fail in any aspect of entertaining our guests. Also, he does not publicize the fact that I am having my period."
Umm ... err ... pardon me? So does mine! He cares for me all the same. Not just during those days but during all month as I have already mentioned. He cares for me and doesn't ban me from entering kitchen either!!!! Wow, that surely sounds like a deal to me. What if I have a craving for that chocolate chip cookie I have stashed away in the pantry when he's not home? Oh wait, I can WALK INTO THE KITCHEN and get it myself!!! I don't have to wait for him to come home and 'care for me'. I am menstruating but not bedridden (god forbid)!! Excuse me, I have to have that cookie rite now. *brb* ... Back! Yumm, it tastes great!! Where was I? Yes, next point.
4. "So why is this Stone Age custom being followed in our house??? The reason is both practical and religious. Our family deity is Lord Aiyappa and his form of worship is very strict among Hindu god worship. You might ask-is Lord Aiyappa going to shoot me down or curse me if I touch him during my periods?? The answer is No. So you might ask why should we follow certain rituals?? I ask you-Why follow religion at all?? Why believe in conscience? Why believe that we will be punished for our actions in our next birth?? Why believe in the concept of Heaven and Hell??? Why believe in God??" bla bla bla bla
... and the religious nonsense ensues. Justification after justification after justification. Can't be ars... err ... bothered. Next.
5. "I do not judge people who do not follow isolation and I do not care about people who judge me because I follow isolation. I found that my ritual gives me piece of mind and that is what mattered most. I do not ask every woman walking in to my house whether they have periods. I do not shoo away people if they visit me to during their periods. I merely request them to use wooden chairs instead of my sofa."
Yes, she surely could use a piece of mind. : Ok, that was low. Bad bad roopie. My apologies, but come on man, you can't just lay it out there for me to not work with it. Either way, I wish I had a friend who told me to use a wooden chair. The spectacle that would follow would surely be entertaining ... for me atleast. :) And of course, she doesn't care about people who judge her (defence system typical of fundamentalists).
It surprizes me to see the number of people who readily told her that they support her choice et al in the comments section of her blog. If she had written that she would make someone from a different religion/race/color/caste sit on a wooden chair, everyone would've been up in arms but when she said that she'd expect a menstruating woman to sit on a wooden chair, everyone's supporting her choice? It's true that it's your choice to not go to such a person's house and not be friends with them but you surely wouldn't tell a racist or a casteist that you support his/her choices, then why her?
I openly say that I do NOT support her choices. The cliche 'to each his/her own' does NOT apply in her case. I will never support discrimination regardless of whether it is benign or not. Discrimination could be targeted at one's own self too just as much as against others. It could be a mother not feeding herself just so her son could eat more. It could be a mother not feeding her daughter just so her son could eat more. Both cases are discriminatory practices and I can't support them.
My angst is not with Lavs practicing isolation. She can lock herself up in an attic without food and water for days if it gives her 'mental piece'. More power to her. My agitation is with her ability to publicly declare that she discriminates against others based on a bodily function and the willingness of her readers to accept it. Just as Lavs was brainwashed into believing the justifications for everything she was conditioned into accepting, most of us are brainwashed to not be politically incorrect and let things slide if there is no need of a hassle. I completely agree with walking out of more than a few situations with the least damage possible but certainly not this one. Not for me at least.
Continuing in the spirit of my previous post, like every other even partially rational person I know, I am all for equality of gender, race, color, ethnicity et al. Only thing that might differentiate me is that I'll take any opportunity provided to harp on it. Equality for all!
The emotional, sexual, and psychological stereotyping of females begins when the doctor says: It's a girl.
- Shirley Chisholm
Monday, May 19, 2008
Stereotypically wound up for equality!
I couldn't make out the face which said it from where I stood half-blinded by the hot Texan sun. I had accidentally walked into a sandwich deli mistaking it for an electronics store which was next doors. The cold whiff of air from the AC at the entrance prompted me to go in further and explore the little nook when his voice shook me out of my 'cool' bliss. "Why is he stressing on vegetarian and chicken?" my mind wondered.
"I want steak though!" I almost shouted back.
"Steak?" he sounded puzzled. "Oh! we do halaal too," he carried on.
"I don't do halaal though", I replied politely.
He looked all the more puzzled. I can't say that I wasn't secretly enjoying his discomposure.
"Oh", he succumbed, "would you like it on white or brown bread?"
"Brown", I said with a huge grin on my face and the regular sandwich maker-customer conversation ensued. We were friends by the time he was done making and toasting my sandwich. He talked merrily about his wife and kids until he asked me about where I was from. I knew what my response would do to him but nevertheless, I said "Canada". His infamous puzzled look reappeared and he asked what I expected him to say, "No, originally, where are you from?". "Canada", I replied again. Lucky for him, he gave up on me with an unsatisfied "oh ok".
While walking out, I realized that I had forgotten to ask him where he was from. ;)
This is not the first time when someone assumed that I won't eat beef or pork and if I do, I'd only eat it halaal. First, they assume that I am a staunch Hindu and when that fails, I am automatically a Muslim. Why can't I just be religion-less? Why does my color have to decide what I eat? True that one can't hide from stereotypes. They are a part of life. The sooner we accept them, the better off we are but I sure don't see a vendor shouting at a black customer, "Hey!! Come on in!! We have fried chicken!!" Nuh-uh, that surely would be politically incorrect rather downright racist but when my food habits are being stereotyped, I am to look past it. Why shouldn't I see it as racism too? Just like being a certain color doesn't mean that I am less intelligent, it also doesn't dictate my eating habits. Why should it be alright for someone to judge what I eat?
When someone judges what I am going to eat without asking me first, it is blatant racism whether you agree or not (thanks to stereotypes -all racist attitudes have stereotypes to thank for though-)! If no one should judge my intelligence based on how I look, no one should judge what I like to eat to calm my stomach down either! I think I am done with ever so politically correct friends who tell me that it's not a big deal. It IS a big deal, darnit. I would no longer eat at a place where my skin color takes prominence over my taste buds. That's my itsy bitsy contribution towards the greater struggle for equality.
- a stereotypical woman all wound up!
Sunday, May 18, 2008
A generation gone ... Grandpa passes away
My grandpa, 87, passed away this morning ... unexpectedly ... as a result of heart failure. It was a quick death, I am told. He had a stroke last year in July and hadn't been keeping too well since. He had lost his ability to speak properly and couldn't swallow well either. Today morning, when he was trying to vomit, his heart stopped. Dad had already called 911 and Emergency Services people were already there. They couldn't do anything to save him. His heart had given up. I feel sad that I wasn't there with him during his last moments. I was planning my trip to Canada in the beginning of June anyway. Maybe I should've planned it earlier or he could've waited. Either/or reality of the day is that he is gone. Just like that. Fragility of human life only hits you when it's a family member or a friend who's affected.I am not sad that he's gone. He lived a fulfilling life. I am not upset either. He died a happy man. I am just humbled. The day before, he was here and today, he is gone. Same applies to any of us. Today, we woke up raring to go for one another day. Who knows what tomorrow will bring? We must never fail to count our blessings. We must never fail to tell those close to us about how much we love them. We must always try our best to care for others, love and share. Life must be used to spread happiness as opposed to propagating anguish for we only have a few counted breaths to last us.
God bless.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Still struggling ...
1. I still don't have phone at home
2. I still don't have internet at home
3. oh forgot to mention that we did get an apartment which is rather nice
4. We bought a new car too although it got banged into ..... yep, welcome to america is official!! First day, first trip anywhere, parked in a parking lot, someone sideswiped it nicely, left it dented and scratched on passenger side and drove off. Husband only saw it after he came out of the store. No one in the parking lot witnessed the accident. Now, we'll have to pursue the store for camera videos to see who did it. Insurance company not too happy to pay the charges without hurting us somehow. So, we're better off paying the damage out of pocket. Damage is quite a bit and I am ready to smash this keyboard on the wall cuz it's making rather annoying sounds.
5. Ughhh!
done. :( I want to come back to my virtual world. I miss reading and writing blogs. :( Well, 'soon' promises AT&T.
Friday, May 9, 2008
English - Marginal Pass, Mathematics - Fail
This revelation came to me upon attempting a timed 30-minute test to judge my mathematical acuity. I started the test thinking that the questions will only be the basic BODMAS problems but I was in for a shocker. I was asked to calculate probability, permutations, areas, volume, geometric equations and I couldn't wait for those 30 minutes to end. I was too scared to even check the results of the test for I am certain that I must've miserably failed. I tried logics and vocabulary tests as well. Both of those, I did quite well in although I must confess that I did guess some of the answers on the vocabulary test. ;p
Conclusion being, I am logically tolerable, linguistically I could be better and mathematically I am a miserable washout. I hope my mum never reads this. :( All those hours she could've been sleeping, she sat by me while I solved my mental math questions. I was good at them then. Dad used to take away my eraser when I did math. He wanted me to get it right the first time. Erasers were for stupid kids. I wasn't stupid. Nah, not for my daddy. Certainly not for mommy either. Little do they know. Their not-so-stupid little girl grew up into a nescient nincompoop. :(
I shall be practicing math starting next week. Half an hour a day will be dedicated to refreshing my mathematical skills. I'll let you know how my next attempt at a timed test goes in a few months from now. Yes, you read correctly. I did say 'months'. It will take that long.
Sad.
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Thoughts on Global Food Crisis
Total foodgrain consumption — wheat, rice, and all coarse grains like rye, barley etc — by each person in the US is over five times that of an Indian, according to figures released by the US Department of Agriculture for 2007. Each Indian gets to eat about 178 kg of grain in a year, while a US citizen consumes 1,046 kg.
Milk consumption, in fluid form, is 78 kg per year for each person in the US, compared to 36 kg in India and 11 kg in China.
Vegetable oils consumption per person is 41 kg per year in US, while Indians are making do with just 11 kg per year. These are figures for liquid milk, not for cheese, butter, yogurt and milk powders which are consumed in huge proportion in the more advanced countries.
Read rest of the story here.
Many thanks to Subodh for without his insightful highlighting of the facts researched by a US organization, we wouldn't have known of American eating habits. And so the arguments continue ...
My first brush with the after-effects of the looming food crisis that we keep hearing of and reading about in news was during my Egypt trip in the beginning of April this year. Before going there, I was completely unaware of the phenomenon of 'bread queues'. Being from a country that seemingly takes pride in wasting food, thought of having to line up for a piece of bread left me utterly confused. My confusion was deepened when I actually saw one such queue. "They really can't afford bread", my mind wondered in somersaults. Despite having read about it regularly, I found the unavailability of food hard to accept when faced with reality. Experiencing a situation first hand and reading up on it do not serve the same purpose, I realized. One night, as we were looking for a restaurant to eat, we witnessed a fight near where the bread queues were usually assembled. Husband and his two friends quickly walked me away from the mob. Later on, we discovered that it was a fight over bread. I couldn't manage to eat properly that night. The phrase 'global food crisis' finally meant something to me.
Upon my return to UK from Egypt, I saw BBC News reporting "food riots in several countries including Haiti and Egypt" on the same day that I returned. Haiti and Egypt are not the only countries affected by this crisis. Bangladesh, Indonesia, Phillipinese, Ivory Coast, Ethiopia, Zimbabwe, Argentina and many others fall in the same category. India "the growing economy" hasn't experienced any food riots yet but is also battling with high inflation rates as a result of high food prices. It is the poor who are getting affected the most (obviously). According to a BBC report:
In the capital, Delhi, milk costs 11% more than last year. Edible oil prices have climbed by a whopping 40% over the same period. More crucially, rice prices have risen by 20% and prices of certain lentils by 18%. Rice and lentils comprise the staple diet for many Indians. At the crux of the crisis is the tardy pace at which farm output has been growing in recent years. The Indian economy has been growing rapidly at an average of 8.5% over the last five years. This growth has been mainly confined to manufacturing industry and the burgeoning services sector. Agriculture, on the other hand, has grown by barely 2.5% over the last five years and the trend rate of growth is even lower if the past decade and a half is considered. Consequently, per capita output of cereals (wheat and rice) at present is more or less at the level that prevailed in the 1970s.
Indian farmers are particularly vulnerable since 60% per cent of the country's total cropped area is not irrigated. They are also dependent on the four-month-long monsoon during which period 80% of the year's total rainfall takes place. The crisis in agriculture has been manifest in the growing incidence of farmers taking their own lives. At least 10,000 farmers have committed suicide each year over the last decade because of their inability of repay loans taken at usurious rates of interest from local moneylenders.
The current crisis in Indian agriculture is a consequence of many factors - low rise in farm productivity, unremunerative prices for cultivators, poor food storage facilities resulting in high levels of wastage. Fragmentation of land holdings and a fall in public investments in rural areas, especially in irrigation facilities, are also to blame.
It is actually a very well-written piece. Do read it here if interested.
Basically, the moral of the story is that the world is increasingly not having enough food to feed the number of mouths available. Riots have begun in some parts of the world over food, there have been a few deaths as a result of these riots (for example: in Haiti) and food prices are on an increase everywhere in the world including the Western countries. It's not just the poor who are affected by the shortage of food but everyone in the society. Poor are, unfortunately, just affected the most. Even despite such a crisis, I see people here in US, in UK, and even in Canada disregarding food. It's disheartening. I had a few friends come over to our house in UK for a get-together for a friend's birthday. I cooked dinner. Everyone took a plateful, said they loved the food, and threw half of it out. I might've doubted my cooking abilities if they didn't go for second servings half an hour later. This time again, all of them took a plateful, ate what they could, and threw the rest out. I couldn't help but wonder at such nonchalance. Perhaps it was only my mother who reprimanded us for even leaving a crumb behind. On the dinner table, we were always told to take less than what we thought we could eat. That way, we can always take more if we needed and there would be no wastage of food. However, in my friends' case, I see the trend to be opposite. They take more than they can eat, nibble on it, and throw out the rest. Same is the case with the restaurants here in the West. Huge portions are served for every meal, which I am certain not everyone finishes. The remaining food is disposed of. What a criminal waste!
It's ironic that something that's so precious for some people across the globe (that they are willing to kill each other for it) is being carelessly squandered by others. One of the many ironies of life. Let's hope we pull out of this mess as soon as we can. Blame game like India and US are playing wouldn't work. Only collective work, prioritization of efficient agricultural practices, and deserving credit to the agricultural industry might bring us out of the crisis and perhaps keep our food shelves full at affordable prices.
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Ipod died
Learned a bit more about Houston, talked to a few more people, made some new friends and let's see what tomorrow brings. :) Nite y'all.





